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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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[CELL DOOR CLANGS]

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SINGLE FILE.

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STAY TO THE RIGHT
OF THE LINE.

6
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:23,791
TAKE YOUR TIME.

7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,228
TAKE A GOOD LOOK.

8
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,830
HEY, UM, ARE YOU SURE
THEY CAN'T SEE US?

9
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,065
ONE-WAY MIRROR,
MA'AM.

10
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:35,969
PICTURE,
IN 3...2...1.

11
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,438
[CAMERA SHUTTER SNAPS]

12
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:43,944
* GIRLS HIT BACK *

13
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,780
* WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT *

14
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:51,252
* WHERE YOU MOST REGRET IT *

15
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:55,556
* GIRLS THINK
THEY'RE MISUNDERSTOOD *

16
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:58,592
* BUT I KNOW GODDAMNED WELL *

17
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:02,830
* ALL THE THINGS THEY DO
THEY DO TO NERVE ME *

18
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,398
* I DON'T MEAN TO SAY IT *

19
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:09,103
* BUT SOMEBODY NEEDS
TO PUT AN END TO GIRLS *

20
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:15,109
* WISH I DIDN'T NEED THEM *

21
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:18,312
A HEINOUS CRIME
HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE.

22
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,248
SHOULD YOU DECIDE
THAT YOUR TESTIMONY

23
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,849
MIGHT JEOPARDIZE
YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY--

24
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,685
LOOK, SIPOWICZ,
I SAID I'D TELL YOU
EVERYTHING.

25
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:29,790
I WAS JUST HOPING
WE COULD FINISH THIS UP
BEFORE MENOPAUSE KICKS IN.

26
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:32,926
LET'S START WITH THE ONE
THAT THINKS HER BUTT
DON'T STINK...

27
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,363
DIANE WESTON.

28
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:40,234
SHE'S LIKE
A DAMN POSTER CHILD
FOR HIGH SCHOOL.

29
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,802
MORNING, SUNSHINE.

30
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,872
REMEMBER, THESE ARE
THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE.

31
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,009
SO FAR.

32
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,878
Lisa: SHE'S
THE "A" SQUAD CAPTAIN.

33
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,346
SHE STOLE THAT TITLE
FROM ME.

34
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,182
YOU SHOULD CHARGE HER
WITH THAT.

35
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,250
Woman: ALRIGHT, LET'S
TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.

36
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:59,019
Man: AND ONE, AND TWO,
AND ONE, AND TWO...

37
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,288
ONE, AND TWO--

38
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,290
HI, BRUCE.
YOU LOOK CUTE.

39
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,491
TOMMY HILFIGER.

40
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,893
I'M HOPING
4th YEAR'S THE CHARM.

41
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,027
HEH.

42
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,497
OUTTA MY WAY, BRUCE.
I'M UP.

43
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,998
[CRIES]

44
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,667
LISA...
IS THAT YOU?

45
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,105
I LOST
A LITTLE WEIGHT.

46
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,140
WOW.

47
00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:21,775
THIS REALLY SHOULD'VE
BEEN MY YEAR.

48
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,411
I HAD A LOT OF WORK DONE.

49
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,480
I MEAN, I HAD DONE A LOT
OF WORK OVER THE SUMMER.

50
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,916
YOU COULD TELL
I MADE HER NERVOUS.

51
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:33,387
BUT THEY HAVE TO,
YOU KNOW, SPREAD
THE TALENT AROUND, SO...

52
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:37,191
I'VE BEEN ON THE "B" SQUAD
FOR 4 YEARS.

53
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,527
NOW, THE SQUAD
AS A WHOLE...

54
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,695
THEY'RE CLOSER
THAN CAROLINA COUSINS.

55
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:45,233
I MEAN, SOME PEOPLE SAY
THEY'RE LIKE COUSINS
OR SOMETHING,

56
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:48,502
BUT THAT'S JUST MOSTLY
THE EGG-OFFS IN BAND.

57
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,241
TRUTH IS
THEY'RE SO CLOSE

58
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,009
THEY ALL GET
THEIR MONTHLY VISIT
FROM AUNT ROSE

59
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,445
AT THE SAME TIME.

60
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,647
THIS ONE'S HANNAH WALD.

61
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,015
SHE'S LIKE
THIS UBERCHRISTIAN,

62
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,451
DOESN'T REALLY SAY MUCH.

63
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,553
IN FACT, IF SHE WASN'T
KIND OF PRETTY,

64
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,821
YOU'D GO,
"HEY, WHO'S THE TART?"

65
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,291
THEN THERE'S CLEO MILLER.

66
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,461
NUMBER
ONE: NOT A REAL C-CUP.

67
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,128
I'VE BEEN
IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

68
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,864
AND NUMBER 2...

69
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,767
SHE HAS TO SEE
THE SCHOOL SHRINK.

70
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,470
SHE'S COMPLETELY
OBSESSED

71
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,971
WITH CONAN O'BRIEN.

72
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,675
Miller: DREAMS?

73
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,779
YOU MEAN LIKE
WHERE I'M IN CONAN'S
ALL-LEATHER APARTMENT?

74
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:34,548
HEH. I MEAN,
I DON'T KNOW IF HE HAS ONE,

75
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,450
BUT THAT'S WHY IT'S A DREAM.

76
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:41,789
AND SUDDENLY, WE'RE
BUCK-NAKED AND ALL OILED UP.

77
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,924
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE THE OIL COMES FROM,

78
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,926
BUT, AGAIN,
THAT'S WHY IT'S A DREAM.

79
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:49,129
Lisa:
THEN THERE'S KANSAS HILL,
THE ORIGINAL BAD SEED.

80
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:53,367
SON OF A BLUE-BALLED BITCH,
I ALWAYS GET THIS ONE!

81
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:55,603
MOUTH ON HER
COULD STOP
A BULL IN HEAT.

82
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,571
SHE GETS HER BRAIN
FROM HER MOTHER.

83
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,340
KANSAS' MOM'S BEEN IN PRISON

84
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,775
EVER SINCE
THE DAY SHE WAS BORN.

85
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,479
SHE WAS JUST LYING THERE,
IN LABOR WITH KANSAS,

86
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,482
WHEN SHE HEARS SOMETHING
GOING ON IN THE NEXT BED.

87
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,651
TURNS OUT
IT'S KANSAS'S DAD

88
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,853
TAKING A NURSE'S
TEMPERATURE.

89
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:17,157
STAY WITH ME.
I'M TRYING TO BE DELICATE.

90
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,327
ANYWAY, SHE WHIPS OUT
A SHOTGUN

91
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,329
AND BLOWS HIS ASS
TO KINGDOM COME.

92
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,431
SO, SHE GOT LIFE
WITHOUT PAROLE

93
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:26,334
AND NOW KANSAS LIVES
WITH HER GRANDPARENTS.

94
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,035
AND THEN THERE'S LUCY.

95
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,070
GEEK EXTRAORDINAIRE.

96
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,705
A WALKING LEFT BRAIN.

97
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:35,275
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE
THIS GENIUS IQ,
BUT THE TRUTH IS

98
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,646
SHE'S AN OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE
LITTLE FREAK.

99
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,350
OK, HANDS IN,
LADIES.

100
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,355
TODAY,
WE'RE GONNA CHEER LOUD,

101
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,557
JUMP HIGH,
AND LOOK PRETTY BECAUSE...

102
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,659
All: CHEERLEADERS KICK...

103
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,094
LET'S GET GOING,
'CAUSE NO ONE EVER GOT AHEAD

104
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,830
BY SITTING ON THEIR BEHIND.

105
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:57,931
* OH, YEAH *

106
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,767
Lisa: SCHOOL YEAR
STARTED OFF LIKE NORMAL.

107
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,702
PRINCIPAL SMITH
GAVE HIS PEP TALK.

108
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:05,205
Smith: IF YOU ARE
APPROACHED TO BUY DRUGS,

109
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:08,776
LET SOMEONE
YOU TRUST KNOW.

110
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:14,448
IF YOU ARE THINKING
OF HARMING YOURSELF,

111
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,450
OR OTHERS...

112
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,186
LET SOMEONE KNOW.

113
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,989
IF IT BURNS
WHEN YOU URINATE,

114
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,625
HAVE MILKY SEEPAGE,

115
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:28,862
OR ARE BEING TOUCHED
BY AN UNCLE,

116
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,164
LET SOMEONE KNOW.

117
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,733
UHH.

118
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,102
Girl: COME ON, YOU GUYS!

119
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,405
LET'S HEAR IT
FOR THE LINCOLN "A" SQUAD!

120
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,740
[CHEERING]

121
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,942
Lisa, voice-over:
"A" SQUAD? RIGHT.

122
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,212
I WAS DOING
BETTER DANCE NUMBERS
IN GRADE SCHOOL.

123
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,880
IT REALLY BURNED MY TOAST.

124
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,083
[GARY GLITTER'S
ROCK AND ROLL, PART TWO]

125
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,854
[CLAPPING IN UNISON]

126
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:27,855
NOW, I KNOW IT'S MY DUTY
TO GIVE YOU ALL THE FACTS.

127
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,958
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO SAY
THAT THEIR CHEER BLEW

128
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,393
LIKE A BULIMIC
AFTER CHRISTMAS DINNER.

129
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,832
THEIR BLATANT DISREGARD

130
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,368
FOR NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
CHEERLEADING ASSOCIATION RULES

131
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:44,371
MADE ME SICK.

132
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,574
BASKET TOSS FLIPS
AND WOOLFALL PYRAMIDS

133
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,910
OVER 2 PEOPLE HIGH
ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

134
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:55,282
YEAH!

135
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,985
I MADE A COMPLETE REPORT
AND SENT IT IN.

136
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,641
Crowd: HEY!
GO, LINCOLN!

137
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:24,177
HEY!
GO, LINCOLN!

138
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,014
HEY...GO...LINCOLN!

139
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:31,051
AND, FINALLY,
THE MOMENT WE'D ALL
BEEN WAITING FOR...

140
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,120
Man: TRANSFERRING
FROM TRUMAN HIGH,

141
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,556
THE NEW STAR QUARTERBACK

142
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:38,892
OF OUR
MIGHTY FIGHTIN' LINCOLNS,

143
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,694
JACK BARTLETT!

144
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,563
Lisa: THAT'S WHEN
JACK AND DIANE MET.

145
00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,065
NOBODY SAW IT COMING...

146
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,200
ESPECIALLY NOT JACK.

147
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,235
[CROWD GASPS]

148
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,604
PFFFT!
HA HA HA HA!

149
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,906
[NO AUDIO]

150
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:04,451
JACK WAS FINE.

151
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,954
OH, MAN, WAS HE FINE.

152
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,422
IT WAS LIKE
HE WAS A BAR OF CHOCOLATE

153
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,825
AND THE WHOLE SCHOOL
WAS ON THE RAG.

154
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,361
EVERYONE WANTED
A PIECE OF HIM.

155
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:17,364
JACK BARTLETT.

156
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,367
JACK BART-LETT.

157
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,869
JACK BARTLETT.

158
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,106
IS JACK BARTLETT
INTERESTED IN ME?

159
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,240
Girl: I'M SORRY,

160
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,409
CAN SOMEONE ELSE
PLEASE RUN THE BOARD?

161
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,079
IT'S CREEPY, IT'S WRONG,
AND IT GOES AGAINST
THE TEACHINGS

162
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,947
OF MY LORD AND SAVIOR,
JESUS CHRIST.

163
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,316
HANNAH, IN ORDER TO GET
REAL ANSWERS FROM NETHERWORLD,

164
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,952
YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE
A CHRISTIAN VIRGIN
RUN THE BOARD.

165
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,589
YOUR KIND IS PURE. THE DEVIL
WON'T MESS WITH YOU.

166
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,290
WELL, UH, TECHNICALLY,

167
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,826
I DON'T THINK I'M
A VIRGIN ANYMORE.
WHAT!

168
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:49,462
AT CHURCH CAMP
THIS SUMMER,
I'M PRETTY SURE I HAD,

169
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,832
YOU KNOW,
MY FIRST ORGASM.

170
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,702
ANY SENTENCE
THAT STARTS WITH,
"AT CHURCH CAMP..."

171
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,136
AIN'T LEADING
TO THE BIG "O."

172
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,138
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THOSE PICTURES OF CHRIST,

173
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,808
ALL SWEATY AND BARE-CHESTED
ON THE CROSS,

174
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,210
ALWAYS KINDA MADE ME HOT.

175
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:06,847
I WANNA KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED.

176
00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:09,216
OK, WELL, ONE NIGHT
AROUND SUNSET,

177
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,251
I WENT HORSEBACK RIDING
WITH THE NUNS.

178
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,753
THEY WENT EVERY NIGHT.

179
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,988
AND WE'RE TROTTING
PRETTY HARD, YOU KNOW?

180
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:16,924
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I FEEL--

181
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,327
I FEEL JUST SUPER-ALIVE,
YOU KNOW?

182
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,829
[LAUGHING]

183
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,698
MAYBE I'LL JUST ASK
THE QUESTION MYSELF.

184
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,702
IS JACK BARTLETT
INTERESTED IN ME?

185
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,238
HEE.

186
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,806
HE IS.

187
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,146
Girl: HEY, MAN,
IS THIS THING, LIKE, ON?

188
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,482
OK, I'M JUST HERE
TO ANNOUNCE MY CANDIDACY

189
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,151
FOR THE HOMECOMING QUEEN.

190
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,487
UH, I PLAN
TO SPREAD THE WORD ON 4-H.

191
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,222
IT'S ALL ABOUT
THE COWS, MAN...

192
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,059
Lisa, voice-over:
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU--
MOST OF US REALIZED

193
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,728
WE DIDN'T HAVE
A WHORE'S CHANCE
IN HEAVEN WITH JACK,

194
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,529
THE DAY OF
THE CANDIDATE SPEECHES.

195
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,465
YOUTH...

196
00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:00,400
AND AGRICULTURE.

197
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,335
4-H! 4-H RULES!

198
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,306
[SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE]

199
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:10,210
Boy: THANK YOU, SIR.

200
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,244
Diane:
GOOD JOB.

201
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,146
[FEEDBACK]

202
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,215
UM, AS--AS THE A-V CLUB
CANDIDATE--

203
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:18,986
I THINK, FOR THE--
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 50 YEARS--

204
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,221
UH, WE SHOULD--
WE SHOULD SAY NO.

205
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:25,793
WE SHOULD SAY NO TO
A FOOTBALL PLAYER AS KING.

206
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:28,595
VOTE BRAINS OVER BRAWN--

207
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,263
HA HA HA!

208
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,398
[LAUGHING]

209
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,733
AW.

210
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,676
[CHEERING]

211
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,718
WOO!

212
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,387
Lisa, voice-over:
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME

213
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,456
MOST OF US
EVEN HEARD JACK SPEAK.

214
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,591
THANKS, WOW,
HEH HEH.

215
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,128
WE WEREN'T
DISAPPOINTED.

216
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,463
OK, GUYS.
HEY, GUYS...

217
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,898
WOULD YOU SHUT UP
A MINUTE?

218
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:05,899
[CHEERING STOPS]

219
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:06,934
I WAS JUST JOKING.

220
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,136
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

221
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:13,073
WELL, UH, I JUST THINK
IT REALLY ROCKS

222
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,342
THAT THE FOOTBALL TEAM
PICKED ME AS THEIR

223
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,244
YOU KNOW, UM, CANDIDATE.

224
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,111
[CHEERING]

225
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,346
Boys:
WOOF, WOOF, WOOF.

226
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,380
YEAH!

227
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,082
Girls:
WE LOVE YOU, JACK!

228
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,151
WELL, I LOVE YOU, TOO,
LUNCH LADIES.

229
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:29,289
I JUST WANNA SAY THAT
THERE'S ONLY 3 THINGS
I WANT IN LIFE--

230
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,292
TO SOMEDAY BECOME A SENATOR
OF THIS GREAT STATE...

231
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,427
[CHEERING]

232
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,296
I WANNA LEAD
THE MIGHTY FIGHTIN' LINCOLNS

233
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,165
TO VICTORY
AT THE HOMECOMING GAME.

234
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,733
[CHEERING]

235
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,968
Diane:
ALRIGHT!

236
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,002
OW!

237
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:46,273
AND, UH, I WANT TO GO
TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE

238
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,507
WITH DIANE WESTON.

239
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,743
[AUDIENCE GASPS]

240
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,017
[CHEERING]

241
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:58,051
HA HA HA.

242
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,021
[SQUEALING]

243
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,236
Lisa: UGH, THEY WERE LIKE
FRIGGIN' BARBIE AND KEN,

244
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,772
BUT WITHOUT THE PINK,
REMOTE-CONTROL CORVETTE.

245
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,008
OVERNIGHT,
PEOPLE WERE GOING, LIKE...

246
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,510
OHH, THEY'RE
THE PERFECT COUPLE.

247
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,913
THEY'RE SO CUTE.

248
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:27,981
Lisa: I'M SURE IT GAVE
THE INTERNET WHACKS

249
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,183
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT
BESIDES AGENT SCULLY

250
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,920
AND THEIR MOST RECENT
WET DREAM.

251
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:37,024
NOW, I'M NOT ONE
TO GOSSIP...

252
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,097
BUT I THINK JACK AND DIANE
GOT SO CLOSE, SO FAST,

253
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,801
BECAUSE THEY DISCOVERED
HOW MUCH THEY BOTH LOVED...

254
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,169
FOOTBALL.

255
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:52,005
MAN, DID THEY LOVE
THEIR FOOTBALL.

256
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:55,308
Cheerleaders:
HEY, HO, LET'S GO!

257
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,977
HEY, HO...

258
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,946
Lisa: I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THE "HEY,"

259
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,448
BUT "HO"
IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

260
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,016
IF THEY'D ASKED,

261
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,618
I EASILY COULD'VE
HELPED THEM WITH
SOME NEW MATERIAL.

262
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:08,121
GREEN 88! GREEN 88!

263
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,557
SET, HUT.

264
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,306
* HEY, HO *

265
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,674
* LET'S GO *

266
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,076
* HEY, HO *

267
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,911
* LET'S GO *

268
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,280
WOO-HOO!

269
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:46,927
I...LOVE...YOU.

270
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:51,531
I...LOVE...YOU.

271
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,574
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

272
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,678
WOO! WOO, YEAH!

273
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,214
HA HA!

274
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,681
YEAH!

275
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,417
YEAH, BABY.

276
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,186
OOF!

277
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,890
* HEY, HO, LET'S GO *

278
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,258
Lisa: RIGHT ABOUT HERE

279
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,493
IS WHERE IT REALLY
STARTED TO HIT THE FAN.

280
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,963
DON'T WORRY,
I'LL CLEAN THIS UP A BIT

281
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,933
IF I HAVE TO APPEAR
IN COURT.

282
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,268
ESPECIALLY
IF WE'RE ON COURT TV.

283
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,241
[GASPS]

284
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,776
EXCUSE ME, VENDELA,
HAVE YOU SEEN DIANE?

285
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:40,547
BECAUSE WE WERE SUPPOSED
TO GO TO THE HOMECOMING
DANCE TONIGHT.

286
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,216
[KISSING NOISES]

287
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,217
OH.

288
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,785
MMM.

289
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,820
OH, BABY.

290
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,156
MMM. OH!

291
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,425
OH! OH!

292
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:53,626
AW, LOOK AT THIS.

293
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,894
[ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY]

294
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,196
OH, MY,
LOOK AT THAT.

295
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,898
LOOK AT
THOSE TWO.

296
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,834
ALRIGHT. HOLD UP.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT
TO MAKE.

297
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,972
ME AND DIANE, UH...

298
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,707
OH, WHAT THE HEY?
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

299
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:11,144
NO! YES!
HA HA HA!

300
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:14,081
[EVERYONE YELLING EXCITEDLY]

301
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,916
Diane: BUT, WELL...

302
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:19,186
NOT BEFORE
I HAVE OUR BABY.

303
00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,490
AAAH!

304
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,458
SO, WHEN YOUR DAD SAID,

305
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:28,195
"I NEVER WANT TO SEE
YOUR F-ING FACES AGAIN,"

306
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,964
DO YOU THINK HE MEANT
"FOREVER" FOREVER

307
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,266
OR JUST UNTIL
YOUR MOM WAKES UP?

308
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,935
[SIGHS]
I DON'T KNOW.

309
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,370
WHAT WAS THAT SOUND
SHE MADE

310
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,107
RIGHT BEFORE
SHE HIT THE GROUND?

311
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:46,113
WELL, IF I HAD TO GUESS,

312
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,381
I'D SAY THAT WAS
THE SOUND OF A MOTHER

313
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,251
SAYING GOOD-BYE
TO HER LITTLE BOY

314
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,853
AND HELLO
TO THE YOUNG MAN

315
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,389
WHO'S GOING TO BE
A DADDY OF HIS OWN.

316
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:01,528
JACK...DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I SEE HERE?

317
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,630
SPIT FROM YOUR DAD?

318
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:07,034
HEH. I SEE A FLOWER.

319
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,502
AND YOU KNOW,
EVEN THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS

320
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,438
STILL GROW FROM DIRT.

321
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,540
YEAH.

322
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,908
AND WHILE WE'RE KNEE-DEEP
IN IT RIGHT NOW

323
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,245
AND THINGS MAY SEEM
PRETTY STINKY,

324
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:22,149
IN THE LONG RUN
WE'RE GONNA GROW
STRONG FROM THIS.

325
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,816
YOU THINK?

326
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,252
I SURE DO.

327
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,054
DIANE...

328
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,824
I-I'VE LOVED YOU
SINCE I FIRST SAW YOU.

329
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,226
[SIGHS]

330
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:36,296
RIGHT BEFORE YOU
KICKED ME IN THE HEAD.

331
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,765
OH, JACK.

332
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,301
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

333
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,272
[MOANING]

334
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,307
[POP BALLAD STARTS]

335
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,046
* YOU CAN BE HAPPY
WHEN EVERYONE'S SINGING *

336
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,248
* IT'S SO FUN *

337
00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:01,754
* JUST TRY
TO REMEMBER... *

338
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,756
Lisa, voice-over:
NOW...I DON'T THINK

339
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,327
DIANE JUST UP AND TOLD
THE SQUAD ABOUT THE BABY
THAT NIGHT,

340
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:10,597
BUT SOMEHOW THEY MANAGED
TO FIGURE IT OUT.

341
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,200
Diane: NO, THANKS.
DON'T NEED ONE.

342
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,136
[TOILET FLUSHES]

343
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,374
SO?

344
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:24,244
HOLY SMOKE.

345
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,946
YOU JUST BECAME
A STATISTIC.

346
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,048
OH, MY GOD.
I'M NOT THE FIRST.

347
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,950
BUT--BUT YOU'RE
NOT MARRIED.

348
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,354
WAIT, DID YOU SAY
YOU ARE PREGNANT
OR YOU WERE PREGNANT?

349
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,089
YOU HAD IT,
THREW IT OUT,

350
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,924
NOW YOU'RE GONNA
DANCE ALL NIGHT?

351
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,526
Fern: SHUT UP, CLEO.

352
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,794
DI, HOW MUCH
YOU NEED
FOR AN ABORTION?

353
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:44,231
WHAT?! NO.
NOT AN ABORTION.

354
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,666
MY CHURCH CAN
ARRANGE FOR YOU
TO GO TO OREGON

355
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,102
AND TAKE CARE
OF AN AUNT
FOR 9 MONTHS.

356
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,537
THEY FIND YOUR BABY
A HOME,

357
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,905
YOU COME BACK
A LITTLE DAZED
AND PUFFY

358
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:54,341
BUT EVERYTHING'S
FINE.

359
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,809
PLEASE, DI,
DON'T BE A WHORE
AND A MURDERER.

360
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,845
[GIRLS GASP]

361
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,114
Lisa, voice-over:
JACK TOLD THE TEAM
THAT NIGHT.

362
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,915
Jack: HEY, GUYS,
I, UH...

363
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:05,552
I GOT DIANE PREGNANT.

364
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:06,719
WHAT?

365
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,455
WELL,
ALRIGHT!

366
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,623
YOU NAILED
DIANE WESTON?

367
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:13,726
HA! I'D NEVER WASH
MY JOHNSON AGAIN.

368
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:14,761
[LAUGHING]

369
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:15,795
HEY.

370
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:16,929
YEAH.

371
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,298
HA-HOO!

372
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,502
[CLEARS THROAT]

373
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,439
I DIDN'T MEAN TO
SAY "WHORE," DIANE.

374
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,741
JUST THAT I HEAR IT
SO MUCH AT CHURCH

375
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,344
IT KIND OF CAME
FLYING OUT OF
MY HEAD.

376
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,380
I KNOW, HANNAH.

377
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,948
LOOK...I'M NOT GONNA
GET AN ABORTION.

378
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:39,386
I'VE ALWAYS PLANNED
ON GETTING MARRIED
AND HAVING KIDS.

379
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,921
I'M JUST GOING
A LITTLE OUT OF ORDER.

380
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,123
[GIGGLES]

381
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,526
KIND OF REMINDS ME
OF ANOTHER YOUNG LADY

382
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:51,731
WHO FOUND HERSELF
WITH CHILD, UNMARRIED...

383
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,000
ON A LONG, LONG ROAD...

384
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,902
WITH NO PLACE TO SLEEP.

385
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,972
OF COURSE, THAT WAS
A LONG, LONG TIME AGO.

386
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,041
BUT NO MATTER WHAT,

387
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:05,378
SHE HELD HER HEAD HIGH
AND SAID,

388
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,881
"PAPA, DON'T PREACH.

389
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,983
"I'M IN TROUBLE DEEP.

390
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:14,086
"PAPA, DON'T PREACH,

391
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,155
"'CAUSE I MADE UP MY MIND.

392
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,090
"I'M KEEPIN' MY BABY.

393
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,794
YEAH, I'M GONNA KEEP
MY BABY."

394
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,898
THE GREAT ONE.

395
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,200
All: MADONNA.

396
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,469
Cleo: WE'RE HERE
FOR YOU, DIANE.

397
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:32,672
YOU GUYS...

398
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,841
THANKS. OH...

399
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,212
I'LL PRAY FOR YOU
EVERY NIGHT.

400
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,513
WE LOVE YOU.

401
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,115
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
YOU'RE THE BEST.

402
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,052
Lisa, voice-over: I GUESS
THEIR LITTLE FAIRY TALE
COULD'VE ENDED THERE.

403
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:49,188
THE ONLY PROBLEM
WAS THEY DIDN'T HAVE
A PLACE TO LIVE.

404
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:52,158
WHAT? BUT ALL OF
OUR PAPERWORK'S HERE.

405
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,693
MY SCHOOL RECORDS

406
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,428
AND JACK'S
FOOTBALL RECORDS.

407
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,464
LET ME EXPLAIN
SOMETHING...

408
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,131
NO, WAIT--
DID I SAY...

409
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,667
"CROSS MY HEART,
HOPE TO DIE"

410
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,602
THAT WE WILL NEVER MISS
A PAYMENT?

411
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,838
UH, YES.
YES, YOU DID.

412
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,140
I think I know where
this one's going.

413
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,976
UM, LISTEN...

414
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,779
I'M WILLING TO
PUT UP MY PAPERS
ON MY GTO.

415
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:17,417
NOW, SHE'S GOT
A FEW MILES ON HER,
BUT SHE LOOKS GREAT.

416
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,851
I'M SURE, SON,
BUT, UM...

417
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:19,886
OH, OW!

418
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,821
SHE'S TWISTING
MY ARM.

419
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,923
I'M GONNA THROW IN
THE SPEAKERS, TOO.

420
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,193
WHY DON'T YOU JUST HAVE
YOUR PARENTS COME
AND GET THE LOAN

421
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,329
AND THEN THEY CAN
GIVE YOU THE MONEY?

422
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,197
WITH ALL
DUE RESPECT, MA'AM,

423
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:34,334
JACK AND DIANE BARTLETT...
[GIGGLES]

424
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,102
DO NOT
ACCEPT CHARITY.

425
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,171
WE ARE 2 YOUNG,
ABLE-BODIED AMERICANS.

426
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,073
WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR
A HANDOUT

427
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,542
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
A HAND UP.

428
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,712
GIVE US FOOD,
AND WE'LL BE HUNGRY TOMORROW

429
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:46,979
BUT GIVE US CORN--

430
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:49,382
THE KIND YOU PLANT,
NOT EAT--

431
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,784
AND WE'LL GROW IT

432
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:55,121
AND UH, UM...CUT IT,

433
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,056
AND, UH...

434
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,691
YOU KNOW, EAT IT.

435
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,892
HMM.

436
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,494
NOW, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED

437
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:04,331
IN GIVING US A HOME LOAN,
I WILL SIT BACK DOWN.

438
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,766
IF NOT,
HAVE A NICE DAY, MA'AM.

439
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,235
SORRY.
MY HANDS ARE TIED.

440
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,470
OH!

441
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,443
WHEW.

442
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:19,712
Lisa, voice-over: SOMEHOW,
THEY MANAGED TO FIND
THEIR DREAM HOUSE ANYWAY.

443
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,048
MORE OF A DUMP,
IF YOU ASK ME.

444
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,082
WE'LL TAKE IT.

445
00:21:23,149 --> 00:21:24,451
[BABY CRYING]

446
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:28,488
FINE. SETTLE DOWN, OK?
JUST KEEP IN MIND--

447
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:32,058
I MANAGE THE BUILDING, OK?
I DON'T OWN IT
AND DON'T FIX SQUAT.

448
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,494
AND I ALSO DON'T CARE
IF THINGS BREAK, OK?

449
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:36,128
ALL I CARE IS
YOU LITTLE BASTARDS

450
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:39,399
SHOVE THE RENT UNDER MY DOOR
ON THE FIRST, YOU GOT THAT?

451
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:40,800
YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

452
00:21:40,867 --> 00:21:44,236
OK. OH, YEAH,
AND ONE MORE THING.

453
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,905
YOU SEE ANY PACKAGES
OUTSIDE MY DOOR,

454
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:49,241
YOU LEAVE 'EM
THE HELL ALONE. CAPISCE?

455
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,477
UGH...

456
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:57,216
Jack:
2 TACO GRR-RRANDES!

457
00:21:57,283 --> 00:22:01,354
ONE BEAN BURR-RRITO.

458
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:05,825
A LARGE TACO CHIP.

459
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,960
AND GUACAMOLE.

460
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:10,329
[CHATTERING]

461
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:12,298
AND THAT'LL BE...

462
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:15,402
35 CENTS.

463
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:21,508
WE DON'T REALLY HAVE
FRIED RATS IN THE BUCKETS.

464
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:25,478
I KNOW. I CHECKED.

465
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,516
I'M GONNA SAVE YOU THE TIME.

466
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:31,551
I'M NOT GONNA LIE.
DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.

467
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,820
IF YOU PICK YOUR ASS,
I'M GONNA TELL PEOPLE.

468
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,055
HAVE NO IDEA
HOW TO RUN YOUR REGISTER.

469
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,557
YOU'RE
JACK BARTLETT, RIGHT?

470
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,392
YEAH.

471
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,828
SO, YOU'D BE, LIKE,
HANGING OUT WITH US

472
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:43,863
EVERY NIGHT AFTER SCHOOL,
THEN, RIGHT?

473
00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,365
YEAH. WELL, I MEAN, AFTER
FOOTBALL PRACTICE, YEAH.

474
00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:48,535
FOOTBALL
PRACTICE?

475
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,372
FANTASMIC.

476
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,575
YOU'RE SO HIRED.

477
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:03,182
[CHUCKLES]

478
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:05,618
I'M ON TOP
OF THE WORLD!

479
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:12,592
ERRR!

480
00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:14,427
HEY, DI,
IF WE HAVE A GIRL,

481
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:16,262
WE SHOULD DRESS HER
LIKE LITTLE DEBBIE.

482
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:17,897
JACK, HONEY,
I'M ONLY EATING FOR TWO.

483
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:19,732
I KNOW, BUT THIS FOOD
REMINDS ME

484
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:21,601
HOW MUCH I WANNA
TEACH OUR BABY,

485
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,870
LIKE COCOA PUFFS IS GOOD,
CAPTAIN CRUNCH IS BAD.

486
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:25,705
IT SHREDS THE ROOF
OF YOUR MOUTH.

487
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:26,939
YOU'RE NOT BORN
WITH KNOWLEDGE.

488
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:28,741
YOU HEAR
"TRIX ARE FOR KIDS."

489
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,444
YOU THINK, "I'M A KID,
I GUESS THEY'RE FOR ME."

490
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,312
BUT YOUR LITTLE
BABY BRAIN'S GOT NO IDEA

491
00:23:33,379 --> 00:23:36,215
THAT LUCKY CHARMS ARE
A MILLION TIMES
BETTER FOR YOU.

492
00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:37,750
JACK?

493
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,653
HEY. POP QUIZ.
IF YOU COULD BE
COUNT CHOCULA

494
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,922
OR TRIX THE RABBIT,
WHO WOULD YOU BE?

495
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:44,991
UH...TRIX.

496
00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:48,227
ME, TOO. GOD!
WILL IT NEVER END?

497
00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:50,229
I LOVE THIS LADY!

498
00:23:50,296 --> 00:23:51,330
[GIGGLES]

499
00:23:51,397 --> 00:23:52,431
AH!

500
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,568
JACK, I THINK
I SHOULD GET A JOB.

501
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:58,437
NO, BUT WE AGREED
YOUR JOB'S RUNNING
THE BABY MACHINE.

502
00:23:58,505 --> 00:24:00,306
I KNOW, BUT THAT
WAS BEFORE I REALIZED--

503
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:03,175
OH...I ALMOST FORGOT GAS
FOR THE BABY MACHINE.

504
00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:06,479
I'M GONNA GET YOUR SNICKERS
AND MEET YOU IN LINE, OK?

505
00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:08,848
MMM. I LOVE YOU.
LOVE YOU.

506
00:24:11,350 --> 00:24:12,719
[SIGHS]

507
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:15,622
Woman on P.A.: ATTENTION, BOB.
CLEANUP ON AISLE 3.

508
00:24:25,264 --> 00:24:26,298
[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]

509
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:28,367
Jack: HEY, DI!

510
00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:29,802
HI, I'M A LITTLE
PROFESSOR!

511
00:24:29,869 --> 00:24:32,271
WOULDN'T IT BE CUTE
IF OURS LOOKED LIKE THIS?

512
00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:33,840
YEAH, YOU LITTLE
MARSH--UH!

513
00:24:33,906 --> 00:24:35,074
HONEY!

514
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:37,544
OH, I AM REALLY SORRY.

515
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,045
JACK...

516
00:24:44,450 --> 00:24:46,085
I NEVER KNEW YOU
DREAMED OF WORKING

517
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,120
IN A GROCERY STORE
BANK BRANCH.

518
00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:51,090
BABY, WE ARE LIVING
THE GREAT AMERICAN
DREAM.

519
00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:52,391
MM-HMM.

520
00:24:52,458 --> 00:24:53,826
IF YOU REACH
FOR THE STARS,

521
00:24:53,893 --> 00:24:58,230
YOU'RE BOUND TO STEP--
MM! JACK, PULL OVER.

522
00:24:58,297 --> 00:24:59,532
MM. PULL OVER.

523
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,601
OH, JEEZ! EW!

524
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:03,235
[TIRES SQUEAL]

525
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,405
[VOMITS]

526
00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:08,374
WHY DO THEY CALL IT
MORNING SICKNESS?

527
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,743
IT'S OK.
GET IT ALL OUT.

528
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:12,979
HAVE ANY BREATH MINTS?

529
00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,146
OH...

530
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:16,783
Jack: SO,
SHE'S IN MY HANDS, RIGHT?

531
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:18,885
WARM TO THE TOUCH.

532
00:25:18,951 --> 00:25:22,054
NOW, IT'S AT THAT SECOND
THAT I THINK I CONTROL HER--

533
00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:23,422
SHE'S MINE.

534
00:25:23,489 --> 00:25:25,424
BUT IT'S A FALSE ILLUSION.

535
00:25:25,491 --> 00:25:28,060
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE
IN THAT MOVIE BACKDRAFT.

536
00:25:28,127 --> 00:25:30,697
"NO MAN CONTROLS FIRE."

537
00:25:32,231 --> 00:25:34,533
SO, SHE'S READY.

538
00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:35,702
I'M READY. HEH.

539
00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:37,670
SHE'S READY.

540
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:39,639
I YELL...

541
00:25:39,706 --> 00:25:42,141
"42-58. HIKE!"

542
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:45,311
BAA! TOUCHDOWN.

543
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,148
[SHIVERS]

544
00:25:49,215 --> 00:25:50,983
[GUITAR STRUMMING]

545
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:53,953
* READY TO GO *

546
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:56,255
WHERE WERE WE?

547
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:03,095
* READY TO GO *

548
00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:10,336
[LOUD DRIVING BEAT]

549
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:17,777
[POUNDING ON DOOR]

550
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,050
I NEED A PLACE
TO KEEP THIS.

551
00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:26,518
SO IF ANYONE ASKS,
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

552
00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,721
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DON'T KNOW SQUAT.

553
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:32,391
* IT'S A CRACK, I'M BACK *

554
00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:34,126
* YEAH, I'M STANDING
ON ROOFTOPS... *

555
00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:35,828
[SQUEALS]

556
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:39,165
* BABY, I'M READY TO GO *

557
00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:42,835
* I'M BACK
AND READY TO GO *

558
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:45,571
* FROM THE ROOFTOPS,
SHOUT IT OUT *

559
00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,306
* IT'S A CRACK, I'M BACK *

560
00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:50,677
* YEAH, I'M STANDING
ON THE ROOFTOPS HAVING IT *

561
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:53,946
* BABY, I'M READY TO GO *

562
00:26:54,013 --> 00:26:57,416
* I'M BACK AND READY TO GO *

563
00:26:57,483 --> 00:27:01,553
* FROM THE ROOFTOPS,
SHOUT IT OUT *

564
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:05,692
* BABY, I'M READY TO GO *

565
00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:09,495
COME ON, JACK,
YOU PROMISED.

566
00:27:09,561 --> 00:27:10,963
[SIGHS] OK.
ONE QUESTION.

567
00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:13,733
OH, ME, ME, ME!
MINE'S GREAT.

568
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,068
[DEEP VOICE] PROCEED,
DUNGEON MASTER QUON.

569
00:27:18,004 --> 00:27:19,005
OK, JACK.

570
00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:23,309
YOU KNOW HOW YOU
AND DIANE SLEPT TOGETHER?

571
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:25,077
YEAH.

572
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:27,680
WELL, NOW THAT YOU CAN'T
SLEEP TOGETHER

573
00:27:27,747 --> 00:27:29,248
BUT YOU STILL
SLEEP TOGETHER,

574
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,719
DON'T YOU EVER
GET JUST, LIKE,
SUPER HORNY?

575
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:35,788
AND IF SO,
HOW HORNY?

576
00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:38,758
I'LL BE QUIET NOW
SO I CAN LISTEN
TO YOUR ANSWER.

577
00:27:38,825 --> 00:27:40,526
Lisa: YEAH, JACK.

578
00:27:40,592 --> 00:27:43,830
I'D LOVE TO HEAR
YOUR ANSWER.

579
00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:45,765
THE ANSWER'S EASY.

580
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,266
OH, UH...

581
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:49,568
LOLITAIS
DUE BACK TOMORROW.

582
00:27:49,635 --> 00:27:51,771
SAME FOR 9 1/2 WEEKS

583
00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:53,639
AND DITTO ON WILD THINGS.

584
00:27:53,706 --> 00:27:55,107
[BEEP]

585
00:27:56,442 --> 00:28:00,346
GUYS...I'M GOING
TO BE A DAD.

586
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:02,581
DADS DON'T GET HORNY.

587
00:28:02,648 --> 00:28:03,950
[SIGHS]

588
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,785
Lisa, voice-over:
TO THE KIDS AT SCHOOL,

589
00:28:05,852 --> 00:28:07,920
JACK AND DIANE HAD IT ALL.

590
00:28:07,987 --> 00:28:09,922
THEIR OWN APARTMENT,
STAYING UP LATE,

591
00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:11,323
EATING WHATEVER THEY WANTED,

592
00:28:11,390 --> 00:28:13,059
PLUS JACK WAS GETTING
A DISCOUNT

593
00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:16,295
ON R-RATED MOVIES
AT THE VIDEO STORE.

594
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:18,297
HELLO? REALITY CHECK.

595
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:21,834
SCHOOL, PRACTICE, WORK,
AND LAMAZE CLASS?

596
00:28:21,901 --> 00:28:25,171
IT WAS REALLY STARTING
TO TAKE ITS TOLL.

597
00:28:25,237 --> 00:28:27,974
[CROWD SHOUTING]
2, 4, 6, 8...

598
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,277
FIGHTING LINCOLNS
ON TO STATE!

599
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:35,414
FIGHT!

600
00:28:35,481 --> 00:28:37,083
LINCOLN! FIGHT!

601
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,290
Jack: BLUE 42! BLUE 42!

602
00:28:47,126 --> 00:28:48,294
HIKE!

603
00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,775
[PANTING]

604
00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:05,144
[GRUNTING]

605
00:29:08,547 --> 00:29:10,482
Lisa: OK,
SO THEY WON STATE.

606
00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:13,185
B.F.D.

607
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,286
THE BEST PART WAS

608
00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,989
DIANE WAS REALLY STARTING
TO LOOK LIKE HELL.

609
00:29:17,056 --> 00:29:20,092
Kansas: DIANE?
DIANE!

610
00:29:20,159 --> 00:29:21,760
HUH? WHAT?

611
00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:25,097
I'M UNDER THE ICE!
I'M UNDER THE ICE!

612
00:29:27,633 --> 00:29:28,801
HUH?

613
00:29:33,039 --> 00:29:35,341
OH, MAN, THAT WAS
A WEIRD ONE.

614
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:36,876
ANOTHER SEX DREAM?

615
00:29:36,943 --> 00:29:39,678
WAYNE GRETZKY.
HAT TRICK?

616
00:29:39,745 --> 00:29:41,213
HE IS THE GREAT ONE.

617
00:29:41,814 --> 00:29:42,781
HEH HEH.

618
00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:44,650
OH, MY GOD.

619
00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:46,052
YOU'VE BEEN ROBBED.

620
00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:48,654
NO, I'VE BEEN
PREGNANT.

621
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,289
DI, ARE YOU OK?

622
00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:53,792
WE CAN SKIP
THE GIRL PARTY
THIS WEEK.

623
00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,594
EVERYTHING'S FINE.

624
00:29:55,661 --> 00:29:57,096
I'M JUST HAVING
A LITTLE TROUBLE

625
00:29:57,163 --> 00:29:59,966
TURNING MY FROWN
UPSIDE DOWN.

626
00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:03,635
WANT US TO HELP
YOU PICK UP?

627
00:30:03,702 --> 00:30:06,805
DON'T MARTHA
FREAKING STEWART ME.

628
00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:10,342
YOU DON'T LIKE IT,
YOU TRY BEING
A PREGNANT TEEN.

629
00:30:11,043 --> 00:30:13,112
[DIANE FARTS]

630
00:30:13,179 --> 00:30:14,713
BRENDON!
GO WITH THEM.

631
00:30:14,780 --> 00:30:16,682
THEY'RE IN THE VAULT,
MAN. GO! GO!

632
00:30:16,748 --> 00:30:18,484
Second man:
WHO'S MR. DUGGAN?

633
00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:19,618
MR. DUGGAN.

634
00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:21,387
YOU WANT TO OPEN
THE VAULT?

635
00:30:21,453 --> 00:30:23,655
OR DO YOU WANT ME
TO DO IT?

636
00:30:23,722 --> 00:30:25,157
DO WHATEVER
THEY WANT, TERRY.

637
00:30:25,224 --> 00:30:26,125
OH.

638
00:30:26,192 --> 00:30:27,626
TAKE THE KEYS.
TAKE THEM!

639
00:30:27,693 --> 00:30:29,095
Lucy: I'M CONFUSED.

640
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,163
PAPPAS KNEW
THE BANK ROBBERS
WERE SURFERS

641
00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:33,499
BECAUSE HE SAW
A TAN LINE?

642
00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:36,135
LUCE,
IT'S POINT BREAK.

643
00:30:36,202 --> 00:30:38,070
JUST SHUT UP
AND LOOK AT KEANU.

644
00:30:38,137 --> 00:30:41,807
DI, WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF YOU WERE IN A HOLDUP?

645
00:30:41,874 --> 00:30:43,442
WELL...

646
00:30:43,509 --> 00:30:45,311
I GUESS I...

647
00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:47,914
I'D GIVE THEM
ALL THE MONEY
THEY COULD HOLD

648
00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:49,715
AND WISH THEM
A GOOD LIFE.

649
00:30:49,781 --> 00:30:51,317
BECAUSE THE BEATLES
WERE WRONG.

650
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:53,986
LOVE ISN'T
ALL YOU NEED.

651
00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:55,854
LOVE WON'T
PAY THE RENT,

652
00:30:55,922 --> 00:30:57,990
LOVE WON'T BUY
MY BABY DIAPERS,

653
00:30:58,057 --> 00:30:59,825
LOVE SURE AS HELL
WON'T BUY ME

654
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:01,260
MY NEW DOLCE
and GABBANA JEANS

655
00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:03,462
WHEN I LOSE
MY BABY WEIGHT.

656
00:31:05,932 --> 00:31:07,599
PRETTY SOON
WE'LL BE BROKE,

657
00:31:07,666 --> 00:31:11,203
AND I'LL JUST
BE ANOTHER FAT-ASS
WEARING CHIC JEANS.

658
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:12,738
[SOBBING]

659
00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:14,540
OK, PUT
THE SNICKERS DOWN.

660
00:31:14,606 --> 00:31:16,108
COME KICK IT
OVER HERE.

661
00:31:16,175 --> 00:31:17,977
WAIT A MINUTE!
FREEZE THAT! FREEZE THAT!

662
00:31:18,044 --> 00:31:19,811
Man on TV:
...TOO MUCH TIME!

663
00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:22,214
Cleo: YEAH.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?

664
00:31:22,281 --> 00:31:24,850
CONAN'S HEAD
ON KEANU'S BODY?

665
00:31:24,917 --> 00:31:26,785
UNSTOPPABLE.

666
00:31:26,852 --> 00:31:29,255
NO! THAT'S IT!
A BANK ROBBERY.

667
00:31:29,321 --> 00:31:31,757
A BIG PILE OF MONEY,
AND MY LITTLE FAMILY-TO-BE

668
00:31:31,823 --> 00:31:33,392
COULD GET OUR HEADS
ABOVE WATER.

669
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,826
I READ ABOUT THIS.

670
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,728
IT'S CALLED
PREGNANCY INSANITY.

671
00:31:36,795 --> 00:31:39,098
LOOK, I MIGHT BE MOODY...

672
00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:40,599
I MIGHT BE GASSY...

673
00:31:40,666 --> 00:31:43,235
BUT I AM PERFECTLY SANE.
THINK ABOUT IT.

674
00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:47,773
IN SCHOOL THEY TELL US
DREAMS CAN COME TRUE. RIGHT?

675
00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:48,975
RIGHT.
RIGHT.

676
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,377
BUT THEY DON'T
TELL US HOW.

677
00:31:51,443 --> 00:31:54,846
THANKS TO KEANU,
I'VE FIGURED IT OUT.

678
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,017
MONEY MAKES
YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

679
00:31:58,817 --> 00:32:00,219
LISTEN, KANSAS,

680
00:32:00,286 --> 00:32:02,688
I KNOW YOU DREAM OF
SPRINGING YOUR MOM SOMEDAY.

681
00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,156
STOP, YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE ME CRY.

682
00:32:04,223 --> 00:32:06,092
IF THE O.J. TRIAL
TAUGHT US ANYTHING,

683
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:09,128
IT TAUGHT US,
IN AMERICA, YOU CAN
CUT SOMEBODY'S HEAD OFF

684
00:32:09,195 --> 00:32:10,829
AND STILL BE
FOUND INNOCENT...

685
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:13,032
AS LONG AS
YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.

686
00:32:13,099 --> 00:32:15,968
WELL, YOUR MOM
ONLY SHOT A GUY.

687
00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:17,469
AND CLEO?
I KNOW YOU DREAM

688
00:32:17,536 --> 00:32:21,440
OF AN ALL-LEATHER APARTMENT
WITH CONAN.

689
00:32:21,507 --> 00:32:23,875
I OVERHEARD THE SCHOOL SHRINK
TELLING THE LUNCH LADY.

690
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,344
OH.

691
00:32:25,411 --> 00:32:27,946
HANNAH, YOU COULD GIVE
YOUR SHARE TO THE CHURCH,

692
00:32:28,014 --> 00:32:30,082
OR MAYBE BUY ONE OF
THOSE STARVING KIDS

693
00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:31,984
THAT SALLY STRUTHERS
ADVERTISES.

694
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:33,819
OR I COULD BUY
MY OWN HORSE.

695
00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:35,754
OR THAT.

696
00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:40,659
GUYS, I JUST WANNA PROVIDE
A FUTURE FOR MY BABY.

697
00:32:40,726 --> 00:32:42,294
I KNOW MY BANK BRANCH

698
00:32:42,361 --> 00:32:45,331
LIKE THE BACK OF
MY PUFFY LITTLE HAND.

699
00:32:45,397 --> 00:32:47,599
I COULD OPEN THAT SAFE
IN MY SLEEP.

700
00:32:51,003 --> 00:32:52,004
I'M IN.

701
00:32:52,071 --> 00:32:53,239
YES!
WHAT?

702
00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:55,107
I'M IN. THIS IS
THE CLOSEST THING

703
00:32:55,174 --> 00:32:57,043
TO A DAMN FAMILY
I'VE EVER HAD.

704
00:32:57,109 --> 00:32:58,977
IF ONE NEEDS SOMETHING,
WE ALL DO.

705
00:32:59,045 --> 00:33:01,713
STOP IT!
THIS IS CRAZY.

706
00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,949
I'M IN, TOO.
CLEO!

707
00:33:04,016 --> 00:33:05,484
KANSAS IS RIGHT.

708
00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:07,953
WE'RE LIKE SISTERS,
CLOSER THAN SISTERS

709
00:33:08,020 --> 00:33:09,988
AND YOU DON'T TURN
YOUR BACK ON FAMILY.

710
00:33:10,056 --> 00:33:11,457
COME ON, LUCE.

711
00:33:11,523 --> 00:33:14,593
PEOPLE DO IT
IN THE MOVIES ALL THE TIME.

712
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:15,961
AND THEY GET CAUGHT.

713
00:33:16,028 --> 00:33:18,397
THAT'S RIGHT.
SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO

714
00:33:18,464 --> 00:33:21,533
IS WATCH A BUNCH
OF MOVIES AND LEARN
FROM THEIR MISTAKES.

715
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,603
YOU KNOW, REAL COPS
AREN'T HALF AS SMART
AS KEANU.

716
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,872
FORGET IT. I'VE GOT
A SCHOLARSHIP TO HARVARD

717
00:33:26,938 --> 00:33:28,940
HANGING OVER MY HEAD.
I WON'T RISK IT.

718
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,709
CONAN WENT
TO HARVARD.
SHH.

719
00:33:30,776 --> 00:33:33,979
LUCY, ARE YOU SURE YOU
HAVE THAT SCHOLARSHIP?

720
00:33:34,046 --> 00:33:35,681
NO.

721
00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:38,350
IF YOU DON'T, CAN YOU
AFFORD TO GO TO HARVARD?

722
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:40,186
I DON'T KNOW,
PROBABLY NOT.

723
00:33:40,252 --> 00:33:42,054
SO THEN THIS ISN'T
CRAZY, IS IT?

724
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:44,923
IT'S A SURE BET.

725
00:33:44,990 --> 00:33:46,158
WELL...

726
00:33:46,225 --> 00:33:47,293
COME ON!
COME ON!

727
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:48,660
COME ON!
PLEASE?

728
00:33:48,727 --> 00:33:50,996
I GUESS WE'RE ALL
IN THIS TOGETHER.

729
00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:52,331
BUT...BUT!

730
00:33:52,398 --> 00:33:55,033
WE HAVE TO MAKE
A SMART PLAN.

731
00:33:55,101 --> 00:33:57,703
OF COURSE. OF COURSE.
OK, HANDS IN.

732
00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,640
ALRIGHT. WE HAVE
TO CROSS OUR HEARTS,

733
00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:02,641
HOPE TO DIE,

734
00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:04,543
STICK A DIRTY NEEDLE
IN OUR EYE,

735
00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:08,347
THAT WE WILL NEVER,
EVER, TELL JACK.

736
00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:10,649
WE ALL KNOW
HE CAN'T TELL A LIE.

737
00:34:10,716 --> 00:34:14,353
THAT'S WHY
HE'S GONNA MAKE
SUCH A GREAT SENATOR.

738
00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:16,255
CHEERLEADERS KICK...

739
00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:19,358
[LAUGHTER]

740
00:34:19,425 --> 00:34:21,793
[CONAN O'BRIEN ON TV]

741
00:34:23,129 --> 00:34:24,663
[LAUGHS]

742
00:34:24,730 --> 00:34:26,598
Conan: WE HAVE
2 VERY COOL GUESTS,

743
00:34:26,665 --> 00:34:29,268
I'M GONNA START
WITH SOMETHING I READ
IN THE PAPER.

744
00:34:29,335 --> 00:34:31,970
IT INVOLVES SEX.
YOU HEAR ME?

745
00:34:32,037 --> 00:34:33,905
[CHEERING]

746
00:34:33,972 --> 00:34:35,441
YEAH. YEAH.

747
00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,943
YEAH, DON'T WORRY.
NOT WITH ME.
HA HA HA.

748
00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:39,545
HA HA HA.

749
00:34:39,611 --> 00:34:42,814
* I DON'T WANNA BE A BOY,
I WANNA BE A GIRL *

750
00:34:42,881 --> 00:34:45,884
* I WANNA DO THINGS
THAT'LL MAKE YOUR HAIR CURL *

751
00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:49,221
* I WANNA BE EVIL,
I WANNA BE BAD *

752
00:34:49,288 --> 00:34:52,224
* I WANNA DRIVE
MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS MAD *

753
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:55,394
* I WANT TO GO WILD,
WANT TO GO WILD *

754
00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:57,062
* I WANT TO PARTY *

755
00:34:57,129 --> 00:34:58,397
* YEAH *

756
00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:00,399
* 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT GIRL POWER *

757
00:35:00,466 --> 00:35:01,533
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

758
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,602
THE MOVIE WAS
SO AMAZING.

759
00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:05,537
HE SLICES OFF
THE GUY'S EAR,

760
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,606
AND YOU SEE EVERYTHING.
THE BLOODY PINK HOLE--

761
00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:09,475
CLEO, I ALREADY
THREW UP TWICE TODAY.

762
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:12,110
CAN YOU GET
TO ANY RELEVANT PART
OF THE MOVIE?

763
00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:14,846
THEY HAD NICKNAMES,
LIKE MR. PINK.

764
00:35:14,913 --> 00:35:17,316
I WAS THINKING,
DI, YOU COULD BE
MRS. PINK.

765
00:35:17,383 --> 00:35:18,950
COULD I BE
MRS. PURPLE?

766
00:35:19,017 --> 00:35:20,752
AND I COULD BE MRS. RED

767
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:22,154
THIS IS SO EXCITING.

768
00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,190
Kansas: DI, HOW CAN
YOU EAT ALL THAT?

769
00:35:24,256 --> 00:35:26,358
Cleo and Hannah:
SHE'S EATING FOR TWO.

770
00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:27,759
JINX.

771
00:35:27,826 --> 00:35:29,027
AHEM.

772
00:35:29,094 --> 00:35:31,863
PAGE ONE IS
A PLOT SUMMARY OF HEAT.

773
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:33,332
2 HAS MY CHARACTER
SUMMARIES,

774
00:35:33,399 --> 00:35:35,301
3 IS MY OVERALL CRITIQUE,

775
00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:38,003
AND ON 4 THROUGH 10
YOU'LL FIND MY NEXIS SEARCH

776
00:35:38,069 --> 00:35:40,071
OF ALL PRIOR ANALYSIS
OF THIS FILM.

777
00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:41,307
IN SUMMATION,

778
00:35:41,373 --> 00:35:43,141
NO PART OF HEAT
IS REALLY APPLICABLE

779
00:35:43,209 --> 00:35:44,876
TO A GROCERY STORE
BANK BRANCH ROBBERY.

780
00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:47,779
Jack: WHAT THE HECK
IS GOING ON HERE?

781
00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:50,015
MMM. JACK.
I CAN EXPLAIN.

782
00:35:50,081 --> 00:35:52,284
DIANE,
THERE'S NO EXCUSE...

783
00:35:52,351 --> 00:35:54,620
FOR NOT TAKING
YOUR PRENATAL VITAMINS.

784
00:35:55,854 --> 00:35:56,855
I LOVE YOU.

785
00:35:56,922 --> 00:35:58,724
I LOVE YOU.

786
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,995
UH....CLEO?

787
00:36:04,062 --> 00:36:05,397
MM-HMM?

788
00:36:06,265 --> 00:36:07,866
WOULD YOU JUST
SAY MY NAME?

789
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:09,868
TED.

790
00:36:09,935 --> 00:36:11,270
[SIGHS]

791
00:36:11,337 --> 00:36:13,772
WELL, IT'S A LAUGH RIOT
FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY,

792
00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:16,608
AND TIM CONWAY IS JUST ABOUT
AS FUNNY AS THEY COME,

793
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:18,076
ESPECIALLY IN
THE SCENE WHERE--

794
00:36:18,143 --> 00:36:19,911
WAIT A MINUTE.

795
00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:22,614
YOU WATCHED
THE APPLE FRIGGIN'
DUMPLING GANG?

796
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,916
I'M ONLY ALLOWED
"G" MOVIES.

797
00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:27,819
AM I THE ONLY ONE
WHO CARES
ABOUT THIS?

798
00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:30,289
I MEAN,
AT LEAST I WATCHED
DOG DAY AFTERNOON.

799
00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:31,890
Man: EXCUSE ME.

800
00:36:31,957 --> 00:36:34,360
COULD YOU TRY TO KEEP
YOUR VOICE DOWN, PLEASE?

801
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:36,061
WE'RE NOT INTRODUCING
ANGER INTO THE WOMB.

802
00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:40,866
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO INTRODUCE MY FOOT
INTO YOUR ASS?!

803
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:41,967
KANSAS!

804
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,302
I'M SORRY,
DIANE...

805
00:36:43,369 --> 00:36:45,337
BUT I'M NOT GONNA WATCH
MY DREAMS FADE AWAY

806
00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:48,740
BECAUSE THE VIRGIN HERE
THINKS SHE CAN GET IDEAS
FROM KIDDIE MOVIES.

807
00:36:48,807 --> 00:36:50,709
THOSE OF US
WHO HAVE PARENTS

808
00:36:50,776 --> 00:36:53,512
KNOW THEY HAVE RULES
BECAUSE THEY CARE.

809
00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:54,713
OOH.

810
00:36:56,648 --> 00:36:58,684
ARE YOU SURE YOU
WANNA GO THERE?

811
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,319
UM...

812
00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:02,388
MAYBE.

813
00:37:03,989 --> 00:37:05,056
OW!

814
00:37:05,123 --> 00:37:06,258
Diane: YOU GUYS!

815
00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:08,460
[SHOUTING]

816
00:37:09,328 --> 00:37:10,729
HOW DO YOU
LIKE THAT?

817
00:37:10,796 --> 00:37:11,963
DIANE WESTON?

818
00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:13,131
KANSAS, QUIT IT!

819
00:37:13,198 --> 00:37:14,165
Kansas: OW!

820
00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:15,401
HERE.

821
00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:17,803
[DOOR OPENS]

822
00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,771
[CRYING]

823
00:37:19,838 --> 00:37:21,773
GOD, WE'RE SORRY.

824
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,675
IT'S OFF.

825
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,477
I CAN'T TAKE
THE FIGHTING,

826
00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:27,479
THE BACKSTABBING,
THE OPEN HOSTILITY.

827
00:37:27,546 --> 00:37:29,815
WE'RE NOT ACTING
LIKE CHEERLEADERS.

828
00:37:29,881 --> 00:37:33,419
WE'RE ACTING LIKE
A BUNCH OF SORORITY GIRLS.

829
00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:38,357
I'M SORRY
I EVER STARTED THIS.

830
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:39,625
DI, IT'S NOT
YOUR FAULT.

831
00:37:39,691 --> 00:37:41,360
WE ALL WANTED
TO DO THIS.

832
00:37:41,427 --> 00:37:42,694
LOOK...

833
00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:45,364
MAYBE I CAN WATCH
A PG MOVIE.

834
00:37:45,431 --> 00:37:47,232
I'LL JUST SAY I'M...

835
00:37:47,299 --> 00:37:50,168
COUNTING DIRTY WORDS
FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL.

836
00:37:50,235 --> 00:37:52,471
IT'S OK, HANNAH.

837
00:37:52,538 --> 00:37:54,506
IT WAS SILLY
TO THINK WE CAN LEARN

838
00:37:54,573 --> 00:37:56,375
TO ROB A BANK
FROM WATCHING MOVIES.

839
00:37:56,442 --> 00:37:58,209
SEX, YOU CAN LEARN
FROM MOVIES.

840
00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:00,879
BUT ROBBERIES?
FORGET ABOUT IT.

841
00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:04,750
BESIDES, TV LAND HAD A LITTLE
HOUSEON THE PRAIRIE MARATHON,

842
00:38:04,816 --> 00:38:07,719
AND THE INGALLS
MADE BABY CARRIE'S BED
FROM A DRESSER DRAWER.

843
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:10,789
I GUESS
I COULD JUST DO THAT.

844
00:38:10,856 --> 00:38:13,158
OH, MY GOD!

845
00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:15,193
THE BABY'S GOT
2 HEADS.

846
00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:16,227
IT'S TWINS!

847
00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:18,397
[LAUGHS]

848
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:20,732
I'M NOT JUST SUPER FAT!

849
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,601
OH, OK, WE AIN'T
DONE WITH THIS.

850
00:38:22,668 --> 00:38:25,036
THOSE BABIES ARE GONNA HAVE
A GOOD START IN LIFE.

851
00:38:25,103 --> 00:38:27,473
WITH A REAL CRIB--
ONE THAT COSTS A TRUCKLOAD.

852
00:38:27,539 --> 00:38:28,840
WE GONNA LEARN TO ROB

853
00:38:28,907 --> 00:38:31,309
BY THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO
REALLY KNOW HOW TO--

854
00:38:31,377 --> 00:38:32,711
CRIMINALS.

855
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,283
I'M GONNA VISIT
MY MOM.

856
00:38:38,350 --> 00:38:39,551
[BUZZER RINGING]

857
00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:41,753
Woman on P.A.:
ATTENTION ALL INMATES,

858
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,322
VISITING HOURS WILL BE OVER
IN 20 MINUTES.

859
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,330
YOU DON'T LOOK NOTHING
LIKE YOUR PICTURE.

860
00:38:52,398 --> 00:38:54,933
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
SENT YOU A PICTURE

861
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,668
OF A NEIGHBOR GIRL.

862
00:38:56,735 --> 00:39:00,238
THEY DIDN'T WANT
YOU TO BREAK OUT
AND COME KIDNAP ME.

863
00:39:00,305 --> 00:39:01,940
THANK GOD.

864
00:39:02,007 --> 00:39:04,810
I WAS STARTING TO THINK
I KILLED THE WRONG MAN.

865
00:39:07,078 --> 00:39:08,480
WHAT DID YOU
COME HERE FOR?

866
00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:10,582
TO TELL ME HOW
MUCH YOU HATE ME?

867
00:39:10,649 --> 00:39:12,451
I DON'T HATE YOU.

868
00:39:12,518 --> 00:39:14,486
I NEED YOUR HELP.

869
00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:18,424
HOW IN THE HELL
CAN I HELP YOU?

870
00:39:18,490 --> 00:39:20,492
MY BEST FRIEND
GOT PREGNANT.

871
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,762
BEFORE YOU?

872
00:39:23,829 --> 00:39:24,996
WHOO-HOO.

873
00:39:25,063 --> 00:39:28,800
YEAH, I KNOW.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID, TOO.

874
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:32,103
ANYWAY, WE WANNA
HELP HER GET SOME MONEY
FOR THE BABY

875
00:39:32,170 --> 00:39:33,639
BY ROBBING A BANK.

876
00:39:34,506 --> 00:39:36,341
WELL, SHOOTFIRE,
KANSAS.

877
00:39:36,408 --> 00:39:38,610
THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING
I EVER HEARD.

878
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:42,914
BUT WE CAN'T QUITE
FIGURE OUT HOW TO...
YOU KNOW, HOW TO DO IT.

879
00:39:42,981 --> 00:39:45,250
SO YOU NEED MY HELP?

880
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:49,154
OH, MY GOD. THIS IS LIKE
YOU ASKING ME FOR HELP
WITH YOUR HOMEWORK.

881
00:39:54,092 --> 00:39:55,126
HEY, MINK.

882
00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:57,463
COME HERE.

883
00:39:58,964 --> 00:40:02,801
KANSAS, I WANT YOU TO
MEET SOMEONE SPECIAL.

884
00:40:05,471 --> 00:40:07,305
CRYIN' OUT LOUD, MOM.

885
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:10,275
LIKE MY LIFE
AIN'T BAD ENOUGH
'CAUSE YOU'RE IN HERE.

886
00:40:10,341 --> 00:40:13,445
NOW I'VE GOTTA ADD "P.S.
MY MOM'S A GAY," TOO?

887
00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:16,147
SHUT UP, YOU MOUTHY
LITTLE TWIT.

888
00:40:16,214 --> 00:40:18,249
DON'T "MOUTHY TWIT" ME.
I'M OUTTA HERE.

889
00:40:18,316 --> 00:40:20,385
HEY, WAIT. SIT DOWN.

890
00:40:20,452 --> 00:40:22,353
NOW, I'M SORRY.

891
00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:24,422
MAMA'S A LITTLE
OVERAMPED...

892
00:40:24,490 --> 00:40:27,526
DIDN'T GET HER YARD TIME
THIS MORNING.

893
00:40:27,593 --> 00:40:30,629
MINK AIN'T MY BITCH,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

894
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,533
SHE'S A SPECIALIST...

895
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,502
IN BANKS.

896
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:42,608
[HUMMING]

897
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,282
THEM'S SOME SWEET SKIRTS
YOU GOT THERE.

898
00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:52,884
OH, THANK YOU!

899
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:54,553
ACTUALLY,
THEY'RE UNIFORMS.

900
00:40:54,620 --> 00:40:56,454
WE'RE CHEERLEADERS.

901
00:40:56,522 --> 00:40:58,423
MM-HMM.

902
00:40:58,490 --> 00:41:00,592
YOU SURE ARE.

903
00:41:01,593 --> 00:41:02,861
EXCUSE ME.

904
00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:05,631
ALRIGHT,
SAME TIME TOMORROW,

905
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:08,066
WE HAVE A VISIT WITH
OUR FAVORITE AUNTS.

906
00:41:10,702 --> 00:41:13,905
LISTEN, ROBBING BANKS
IS LIKE PULLING A TRICK.

907
00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:15,574
YOU GOTTA STAY
IN CONTROL,

908
00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,809
KNOW HOW FAR YOU'LL GO
TO GET THE DOUGH,

909
00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:21,412
AND ALWAYS PUT
THE RUBBER ON YOURSELF.

910
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:23,281
OH, PFFT!
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

911
00:41:23,348 --> 00:41:25,951
AND YOU GOTTA DO IT
THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS.

912
00:41:26,017 --> 00:41:27,218
WHY?

913
00:41:27,285 --> 00:41:29,921
BANKS DON'T HAVE HOLIDAY
PICKUPS, SO VAULTS ARE FULL.

914
00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:32,323
BESIDES, EVERYONE'S
AT HOME EATIN' LEFTOVERS

915
00:41:32,390 --> 00:41:33,659
AND BEATIN' THEIR KIDS.

916
00:41:33,725 --> 00:41:36,427
REALLY? YOU WERE
CELLMATES WITH HER?

917
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,730
OH, MY GOD.
SHE WAS MY HERO!

918
00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:40,999
DID SHE TELL YOU WHAT
LETTERMAN'S HOUSE WAS LIKE?

919
00:41:41,066 --> 00:41:43,602
YOU GOTTA BUY YOUR GATS
FROM THE TERMINATOR.

920
00:41:43,669 --> 00:41:45,203
TELL HIM ITCHY SENT YOU.

921
00:41:45,270 --> 00:41:46,371
AND GATS ARE?

922
00:41:46,437 --> 00:41:48,640
GUNS, CUTIE.

923
00:41:48,707 --> 00:41:50,776
YOU LISTEN TO CAROL,
PUSSYCAT.

924
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,744
GO RENT NATIONAL VELVET.

925
00:41:52,811 --> 00:41:56,247
IT'S GOT SOME AWESOME
STEEPLECHASES IN IT.

926
00:41:56,314 --> 00:41:57,549
I'M GONNA WRITE
THAT DOWN.

927
00:41:57,616 --> 00:41:59,651
SO, ALTHOUGH
THEIR FATHER SAID,

928
00:41:59,718 --> 00:42:00,886
"DON'T GET OUTTA
THE CAR

929
00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:02,387
TILL I GET BACK
WITH HELP,"

930
00:42:02,453 --> 00:42:04,690
THEY KNEW THE SHERIFF'S
VOICE WHEN HE YELLED,

931
00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:08,059
"RUN TO MY VOICE!
AND DON'T LOOK BACK!"

932
00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:09,695
THE TWINS DID
AS HE SAID,

933
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,362
BUT AT THE VERY
LAST SECOND,

934
00:42:11,429 --> 00:42:14,265
THEY TURNED AROUND
AND SAW THE ESCAPED
MENTAL PATIENT

935
00:42:14,332 --> 00:42:18,003
BOUNCING
THEIR FATHER'S HEAD
ON TOP OF THE CAR.

936
00:42:18,069 --> 00:42:19,170
AAH!

937
00:42:19,237 --> 00:42:20,438
THEY JUMPED!

938
00:42:20,505 --> 00:42:22,440
THAT'S JUST GAS, SWEETIE.

939
00:42:22,507 --> 00:42:24,509
OH...

940
00:42:24,576 --> 00:42:25,811
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?

941
00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:30,081
JUST SOME GIRLY STUFF
FOR THE SQUAD.

942
00:42:33,084 --> 00:42:34,185
BZZZ!

943
00:42:34,252 --> 00:42:36,121
[SIMULATES EXPLOSION]

944
00:42:38,089 --> 00:42:40,558
[DOGS BARKING]

945
00:42:47,098 --> 00:42:48,700
WELL, WHOEVER
GETS OUT ALIVE,

946
00:42:48,767 --> 00:42:51,837
HAVE THE AUTHORITIES CHECK
IN THE CRAWL SPACE.

947
00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:55,240
KANSAS, YOU SHOULD NEVER
JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

948
00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:57,342
[COUGHING]

949
00:42:59,110 --> 00:43:01,713
Diane: I GUESS THERE'S
AN EXCEPTION TO EVERY RULE.

950
00:43:02,648 --> 00:43:04,215
COULD I HELP YOU?

951
00:43:04,282 --> 00:43:06,017
YOU'RE
THE TERMINATOR?

952
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,354
DID YOU COME IN HERE
TO BUST MY BALLS?

953
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:10,588
HUH?

954
00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:12,758
WELL, I KILL BUGS
FOR A LIVING.

955
00:43:12,824 --> 00:43:14,626
IF GOD DOESN'T
BEAT YOU TO IT.

956
00:43:14,693 --> 00:43:16,127
NO, WAIT, UM...

957
00:43:16,194 --> 00:43:18,396
WE'RE THE "A" SQUAD FROM
LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL.

958
00:43:18,463 --> 00:43:19,698
SO, UH...

959
00:43:19,765 --> 00:43:22,533
SO, WE WERE TOLD
YOU COULD FIX US UP.

960
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:25,170
FIX YOU UP?

961
00:43:25,236 --> 00:43:26,237
REALLY?

962
00:43:26,304 --> 00:43:28,774
YEAH.
ITCHY SENT US.

963
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:30,408
SHE DID, DID SHE?

964
00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:32,043
HOW IS THE OLD GIRL?

965
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:34,512
DEFINITELY OLD.

966
00:43:34,579 --> 00:43:37,548
HA HA HA!
YEAH, THAT'S MY ITCHY.

967
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,217
[LAUGHTER]

968
00:43:40,485 --> 00:43:41,452
HOW MANY?

969
00:43:41,519 --> 00:43:42,954
UH...

970
00:43:43,021 --> 00:43:45,623
UM, WELL, WE'LL EACH
PROBABLY WANT ONE, SO...

971
00:43:45,691 --> 00:43:47,625
[COUNTING]
WE'LL TAKE 5.

972
00:43:47,693 --> 00:43:49,594
5 SHOULD DO IT.
ALL RIGHT.

973
00:43:49,661 --> 00:43:51,930
AND, UH, HOW MUCH AMMO
DO YOU WANT?

974
00:43:51,997 --> 00:43:53,298
AMMO?

975
00:43:53,364 --> 00:43:55,266
HOW MANY BULLETS
DO YOU NEED?

976
00:43:56,167 --> 00:43:58,169
OH, BULLETS.

977
00:43:58,236 --> 00:43:59,170
NO BULLETS.

978
00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:01,039
THESE ARE JUST
TO SCARE PEOPLE.

979
00:44:01,106 --> 00:44:03,474
KINDA LIKE A ROUND-OFF
BACK HANDSPRING WHIPBACK
DOUBLE FULL.

980
00:44:03,541 --> 00:44:05,243
YOU NEVER REALLY USE IT.

981
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:08,646
YOU JUST WANT
THE OPPOSING SQUAD
TO KNOW YOU'VE GOT IT.

982
00:44:08,714 --> 00:44:10,415
OK.

983
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:11,582
$1,500 CASH.

984
00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:12,818
WHAT?

985
00:44:12,884 --> 00:44:16,287
YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING
BUG ZAPPER!

986
00:44:16,354 --> 00:44:19,157
OBVIOUSLY THAT'S
A LITTLE MORE THAN
OUR BUDGET WILL ALLOW.

987
00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:23,762
UM, BASICALLY,
WE'RE LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING AROUND $200.

988
00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:28,166
OH, WELL,
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

989
00:44:28,233 --> 00:44:32,037
FOR 200, I GOT SOME
REAL NICE RUBBER BANDS

990
00:44:32,103 --> 00:44:33,905
AND SOME SHARP NAILS
IN THE BACK.

991
00:44:33,972 --> 00:44:36,341
I GOT 5 OF THEM.
THEY COME IN PASTEL COLORS.

992
00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:40,746
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT
RIGHT THERE AND LET ME
GO GIFT-WRAP IT FOR YOU.

993
00:44:43,915 --> 00:44:46,517
THEY ARE 1,500,
CASH ON THE BARREL.

994
00:44:46,584 --> 00:44:49,654
YOU TAKE IT
OR YOU LEAVE IT.

995
00:44:49,721 --> 00:44:53,158
WHAT KINDA DEAL WOULD YA MAKE IF
I TOLD WE'RE GONNA TELL POLICE

996
00:44:53,224 --> 00:44:56,862
THAT YOU'RE SELLING
ILLEGAL GUNS...
TO MINORS?

997
00:44:56,928 --> 00:44:58,329
TO GIRL MINORS!

998
00:44:58,396 --> 00:45:00,932
THEN I'D JUST
HAVE TO KILL YOU.

999
00:45:02,233 --> 00:45:04,035
OK, WELL...

1000
00:45:04,102 --> 00:45:06,071
IT WAS A PLEASURE
MEETING YOU.

1001
00:45:06,137 --> 00:45:07,873
TAKE CARE.

1002
00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:09,240
LET'S GO, YOU GUYS.

1003
00:45:09,307 --> 00:45:10,475
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

1004
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,642
OH, PLEASE.

1005
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,378
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO TELL ANYONE.

1006
00:45:13,444 --> 00:45:15,146
MAYBE WE CAN MAKE A DEAL.

1007
00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:16,347
LOOK, BUDDY,

1008
00:45:16,414 --> 00:45:19,550
WE'RE NOT GONNA
TRADE SEX FOR GUNS.

1009
00:45:19,617 --> 00:45:21,386
UNLESS CLEO...

1010
00:45:21,452 --> 00:45:22,520
KANSAS!

1011
00:45:22,587 --> 00:45:23,955
I GOT A DAUGHTER.

1012
00:45:24,022 --> 00:45:27,525
AND SHE'S ALWAYS DREAMT
OF BEING A CHEERLEADER.

1013
00:45:27,592 --> 00:45:28,760
AW.

1014
00:45:28,827 --> 00:45:30,061
TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO.

1015
00:45:30,128 --> 00:45:32,063
IF YOU PUT HER
ON YOUR SQUAD,

1016
00:45:32,130 --> 00:45:34,199
AND I MEAN PUT HER
ON THE SQUAD--

1017
00:45:34,265 --> 00:45:35,867
DON'T MAKE HER HAUL
YOUR POMPOMS--

1018
00:45:35,934 --> 00:45:38,269
YOU GIVE HER
SOMETHING TO DO.

1019
00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:40,371
THEN I'LL GIVE YOU
THE GUNS.

1020
00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:42,974
YOU'RE KIDDING.

1021
00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:46,344
[ALL LAUGH]

1022
00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:47,745
HEY, FERN!

1023
00:45:47,813 --> 00:45:49,247
FERN, COME HERE!

1024
00:45:49,314 --> 00:45:50,982
SHE'S OUT SIPHONING OFF
THE TANKS.

1025
00:45:51,049 --> 00:45:53,618
IT TAKES A SECOND TO
CAP OFF THAT CYANIDE HOSE.

1026
00:45:53,684 --> 00:45:54,652
HONEY?

1027
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:55,686
[DOOR OPENING]

1028
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:56,721
THERE SHE IS.

1029
00:45:56,788 --> 00:45:59,190
HERE'S MY BABY.

1030
00:45:59,257 --> 00:46:01,526
FERN, MEET YOUR
NEW BEST FRIENDS.

1031
00:46:04,629 --> 00:46:06,764
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

1032
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,269
DON'T YOU TAKE TOO LONG.

1033
00:46:11,336 --> 00:46:14,005
LET'S DO BREATHING
EXERCISES, SHALL WE?

1034
00:46:15,874 --> 00:46:17,976
IS JACK UPSET THAT
HE CAN'T BE HERE?

1035
00:46:18,043 --> 00:46:19,610
WE WORKED IT OUT.

1036
00:46:19,677 --> 00:46:22,147
[PRACTICING BREATHING]

1037
00:46:23,348 --> 00:46:24,749
YOU'RE DOING GOOD,
SWEETIE.

1038
00:46:24,816 --> 00:46:26,551
LET'S REMEMBER
OUR FOCAL POINT.

1039
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:28,753
[GROANING]

1040
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:32,190
OK, DON'T STOP NOW. COME ON,
WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT, BABY.

1041
00:46:32,257 --> 00:46:34,625
[BREATHING]

1042
00:46:34,692 --> 00:46:36,995
WHAT A SAD WASTE OF MAN.

1043
00:46:37,062 --> 00:46:39,998
OK, EVEN WITH
ALL OUR SAVINGS,

1044
00:46:40,065 --> 00:46:41,699
IT'S STILL
ONLY 654.

1045
00:46:41,766 --> 00:46:43,334
THAT'S IT?

1046
00:46:43,401 --> 00:46:45,971
HEY, I EVEN
TOOK MY PARENTS'
FOSTER KID MONEY.

1047
00:46:46,037 --> 00:46:47,805
PHILIPPE'S GOING
TO BE GATHERING RICE

1048
00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:49,908
WITHOUT PANTS
THIS MONTH.

1049
00:46:49,975 --> 00:46:52,410
OK, WAIT A SECOND.
HOLD ON.

1050
00:46:52,477 --> 00:46:54,679
NOW, WHAT DO WE DO
BEFORE A BIG GAME?

1051
00:46:54,745 --> 00:46:57,415
USE THE BATHROOM 'CAUSE
THE PORT-A-POTTIES ON THE FIELD

1052
00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:58,583
ARE GROSS.

1053
00:46:59,951 --> 00:47:02,153
MY FAULT. WHAT DO WE DO THAT
ENABLES US

1054
00:47:02,220 --> 00:47:03,788
TO BE AS GREAT AS WE ARE?

1055
00:47:03,855 --> 00:47:07,258
I PERSONALLY THINK
OF HOW CONAN STARTED
AS A WRITER, AND THEN--

1056
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:08,293
WE PRACTICE.

1057
00:47:08,359 --> 00:47:10,896
THAT'S RIGHT.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT.

1058
00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,964
I'M PRACTICING
TO HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW.

1059
00:47:13,031 --> 00:47:14,632
IF WE DO A PRACTICE JOB,

1060
00:47:14,699 --> 00:47:16,334
WE'LL NOT ONLY
GET THE EXPERIENCE,

1061
00:47:16,401 --> 00:47:18,769
WE'LL ALSO GET MONEY
WE NEED FOR THE GUNS.

1062
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:20,105
I'VE GOT THE PERFECT JOB,

1063
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:23,508
AND I'VE GOTTA PEE,
SO HELP ME UP.

1064
00:47:23,574 --> 00:47:25,210
[ALL GRUNTING]

1065
00:47:25,276 --> 00:47:28,179
HELLO. HOW MANY
WOULD YOU LIKE?

1066
00:47:28,246 --> 00:47:29,414
7.

1067
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,550
[HUMMING]

1068
00:47:35,486 --> 00:47:36,454
[SIGHS]

1069
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,368
HI.

1070
00:47:50,435 --> 00:47:51,702
HELLO. HOW MANY?

1071
00:47:51,769 --> 00:47:53,404
2, PLEASE.

1072
00:47:56,807 --> 00:47:58,109
OOPS!

1073
00:48:01,046 --> 00:48:02,914
[COUGHING]

1074
00:48:02,981 --> 00:48:04,149
OH!

1075
00:48:05,483 --> 00:48:07,585
OH, PLEASE,
HELP ME WITH HER!

1076
00:48:10,588 --> 00:48:12,090
[COUGHING]

1077
00:48:32,043 --> 00:48:34,045
WHAT THE KINDA FOOD
ARE THEY SERVING US

1078
00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:37,615
IF THEY CAN TURN
A PROFIT ON 200 BUCKS?

1079
00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:42,220
* WATCH HER NOW *

1080
00:48:42,287 --> 00:48:43,654
* WATCH HER NOW *

1081
00:48:43,721 --> 00:48:45,090
* WALKING AWAY *

1082
00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:46,591
* WALKING AWAY *

1083
00:48:46,657 --> 00:48:48,793
* NOTHING TO SAY *

1084
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:51,296
* SHE'S JUST LEAVING *

1085
00:48:53,198 --> 00:48:54,932
* WHAT DID I DO? *

1086
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,167
OH!

1087
00:48:57,802 --> 00:48:59,537
UH, FERN?
YEAH?

1088
00:48:59,604 --> 00:49:02,873
NO MORE FILLING THE TANKS
BEFORE PRACTICE, OK?

1089
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,109
OK.

1090
00:49:07,979 --> 00:49:09,147
[DOG BARKING]

1091
00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:13,384
Kansas: OK,
LET'S GET GOING.

1092
00:49:13,451 --> 00:49:16,054
MY GRANDPARENTS GET BACK
FROM DINNER AT 4:30.

1093
00:49:20,358 --> 00:49:21,126
READY?

1094
00:49:21,192 --> 00:49:22,660
Everybody: OK!

1095
00:49:23,728 --> 00:49:24,996
Kansas:
WHAT THE HELL--

1096
00:49:25,063 --> 00:49:26,897
OH, NO!

1097
00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:28,033
HE IKEA'D US.

1098
00:49:28,099 --> 00:49:29,834
HOW MANY SIGNS
DO WE NEED?

1099
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:31,602
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO DO THIS.

1100
00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:34,505
LOOK, MAYBE LUCY IS RIGHT.
MAYBE THIS IS A SIGN.

1101
00:49:34,572 --> 00:49:36,407
Woman: KANSAS?

1102
00:49:37,708 --> 00:49:39,044
THAT YOU DOWN THERE?

1103
00:49:39,110 --> 00:49:41,046
YEAH, GRANDMA.
ME AND THE SQUAD.

1104
00:49:41,112 --> 00:49:43,214
YOU GIRLS
TALKING ABOUT BOYS?

1105
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:45,050
PRACTICING KISSING
YOUR HAND?

1106
00:49:45,116 --> 00:49:46,284
[GIRLS GIGGLE]

1107
00:49:47,085 --> 00:49:48,453
YEAH, YOU CAUGHT US.

1108
00:49:48,519 --> 00:49:50,288
OH, WELL,
THEN I'LL PUT SOME COOKIES

1109
00:49:50,355 --> 00:49:52,723
AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS
FOR YOU GIRLS.

1110
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:54,192
THANKS,
THAT'D BE GREAT.

1111
00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:58,129
[GIRLS EXHALE]

1112
00:49:58,196 --> 00:50:00,031
THIS IS GREAT.
WHAT DO WE DO?

1113
00:50:00,098 --> 00:50:02,667
THREATEN PEOPLE WITH
A TRUNKFUL OF PARTS?

1114
00:50:02,733 --> 00:50:04,135
I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS.

1115
00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:06,137
WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH
SOUTH AMERICAN REBELS,

1116
00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:08,173
YOU KINDA GOTTA TAKE
WHAT YOU CAN GET.

1117
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:09,840
IT'S A TRUNKFUL OF CRAP.

1118
00:50:09,907 --> 00:50:12,477
DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT I DON'T SEE HERE?

1119
00:50:12,543 --> 00:50:13,644
WHAT?

1120
00:50:13,711 --> 00:50:14,912
I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM.

1121
00:50:14,979 --> 00:50:17,382
I SEE A GREAT,
BIG CRAFT PROJECT

1122
00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,550
SITTING RIGHT
IN FRONT OF ME.

1123
00:50:19,617 --> 00:50:22,787
SO, KANSAS,
GET ME SOME GLUE,

1124
00:50:22,853 --> 00:50:25,156
SOME TAPE,
AND A NAIL FILE.

1125
00:50:30,261 --> 00:50:33,264
* SO IT'S YOU *

1126
00:50:33,331 --> 00:50:35,666
* AT MY DOOR *

1127
00:50:37,202 --> 00:50:39,070
* SHE IS HUGE *

1128
00:50:40,538 --> 00:50:44,775
* SHE WORE A TALLER
MAN'S HEIGHT OR MORE *

1129
00:50:45,843 --> 00:50:49,480
* IF IT FAILS ME *

1130
00:50:49,547 --> 00:50:51,382
* THEN IT'S LOVE FOR SURE *

1131
00:50:51,449 --> 00:50:54,719
* 'CAUSE I'M HERE *

1132
00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:58,656
* 'CAUSE I WANNA BE,
AND I GOTTA BE *

1133
00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:02,293
* AND I'LL STAY *

1134
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,397
* 'CAUSE I WANNA STAY
EVERY DAY WITH YOU *

1135
00:51:11,769 --> 00:51:14,305
* SHE'S SO COOL *

1136
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:20,478
* SHE'S SO COOL *

1137
00:51:20,545 --> 00:51:24,048
Lisa: MEANWHILE, THE MOST
IMPORTANT EVENT OF MY LIFE

1138
00:51:24,115 --> 00:51:25,450
WAS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE.

1139
00:51:25,516 --> 00:51:28,486
PLEASE JOIN OUR "A" AND "B"
SQUAD CHEERLEADERS

1140
00:51:28,553 --> 00:51:30,788
IN A SALUTE
TO WINTER SPORTS!

1141
00:51:39,997 --> 00:51:42,567
Lisa: THE WINTER SPORTS
PEP RALLY IS ONLY, LIKE,

1142
00:51:42,633 --> 00:51:46,371
THE BIGGEST CHEERLEADING
EVENT OF THE YEAR.

1143
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:49,307
I'D BEEN PRACTICING
FOR MONTHS.

1144
00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:51,842
THIS WAS MY BIG CHANCE
TO SHOW THE WHOLE SCHOOL

1145
00:51:51,909 --> 00:51:55,880
THAT I REALLY BELONGED
ON THE "A" SQUAD.

1146
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:57,882
[FELIZ NAVIDAD BEING SUNG]

1147
00:52:09,660 --> 00:52:11,862
Lisa: I JUST WANT TO SAY,
THAT NORMALLY,

1148
00:52:11,929 --> 00:52:13,398
I'M AN EXCELLENT SKATER.

1149
00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:17,134
SOME JEALOUS--
WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS,

1150
00:52:17,202 --> 00:52:19,069
OBVIOUSLY SABOTAGED
MY SKATES.

1151
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,205
[SCREAMING]

1152
00:52:20,271 --> 00:52:21,506
I WAS COMPLETELY HUMILIATED

1153
00:52:21,572 --> 00:52:23,808
IN FRONT OF
THE ENTIRE STUDENT BODY.

1154
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:27,612
TALK ABOUT ADDING
INSULT TO INJURY...

1155
00:52:27,678 --> 00:52:30,248
AT THE LAST MINUTE,
DIANE FINAGLED PUTTING

1156
00:52:30,315 --> 00:52:33,751
THAT BACKWATER,
MUTANT MONKEY GIRL
ON TOP OF THE PYRAMID!

1157
00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:35,753
[PEOPLE CHEERING]

1158
00:52:35,820 --> 00:52:37,388
NO WAY!

1159
00:52:37,455 --> 00:52:39,990
IT RUINED THE ENTIRE FINALE.

1160
00:52:40,057 --> 00:52:41,659
ASK ANYBODY!

1161
00:52:51,669 --> 00:52:54,539
CONAN O'BRIEN...

1162
00:52:55,740 --> 00:52:57,675
CONAN O'BRIEN...

1163
00:52:59,344 --> 00:53:01,579
CONAN O'BRIEN.
CONAN O'BRIEN...

1164
00:53:01,646 --> 00:53:03,514
COME ON, CLEO.
WE'RE NOT GONNA WASTE

1165
00:53:03,581 --> 00:53:06,116
THIS WEEK'S QUESTION
TO THE NETHERWORLD
ON CONAN.

1166
00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,686
WHO MADE UP THE
ONE-QUESTION-A-WEEK
RULE ANYWAY?

1167
00:53:08,753 --> 00:53:11,155
Kansas: IT'S IN THE BIBLE,
SO JUST SHUT UP.

1168
00:53:11,222 --> 00:53:13,858
OK, OK. HERE GOES...

1169
00:53:13,924 --> 00:53:15,926
IS THE DAY
AFTER CHRISTMAS

1170
00:53:15,993 --> 00:53:18,195
THE BEST DAY
FOR THE HEIST?

1171
00:53:18,263 --> 00:53:20,431
AH...YES!

1172
00:53:20,498 --> 00:53:23,468
GIRLS, NUMEROLOGY
CONFIRMS IT, TOO. LOOK!

1173
00:53:23,534 --> 00:53:25,035
SO DOES
SOLDIER OF FORTUNE.

1174
00:53:25,102 --> 00:53:28,473
"A GREAT DAY
TO GO BALLS OUT
ON THE OFFENSIVE."

1175
00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:30,641
THEN IT'S TIME
FOR MY MOM'S PRESENT.

1176
00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:36,647
"BE CAREFUL. HAVE FUN.
SKI MASKS ARE SO DONE.

1177
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,516
"WEAR THESE MASKS
TO FIGHT THE POWER

1178
00:53:38,583 --> 00:53:41,519
AND NEVER BEND OVER
IN THE SHOWER."

1179
00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,488
HEY, DIANE, YOU CAN BE
MOOD-SWING BETTY.

1180
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:44,689
HANNAH,
YOU'RE VIRGIN BETTY

1181
00:53:44,755 --> 00:53:46,357
WITH OPTIONAL
HORSE AND SADDLE.

1182
00:53:46,424 --> 00:53:47,458
[LAUGHTER]

1183
00:53:47,525 --> 00:53:49,960
AND, FERN,
YOU CAN BE--

1184
00:53:50,027 --> 00:53:52,062
OH, GOD,
WE FORGOT FERN.

1185
00:53:52,129 --> 00:53:53,431
OH, IT'S OK.

1186
00:53:53,498 --> 00:53:55,866
MOM AND THE GIRLS
GOT THEM FOR THE HEIST.

1187
00:53:55,933 --> 00:53:57,268
IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.

1188
00:53:57,335 --> 00:54:00,104
HEY, I GOT TO CHEER
WITH YOU GUYS.

1189
00:54:00,170 --> 00:54:03,107
I'M HAPPIER THAN
A MAKE-A-WISH KID
AT DISNEYLAND.

1190
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:05,610
WELL, WE'LL ALL
SIGN YOUR YEARBOOK.

1191
00:54:08,846 --> 00:54:10,348
HERE, TAKE MINE.

1192
00:54:11,616 --> 00:54:14,084
LOOK, I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU GUYS,

1193
00:54:14,151 --> 00:54:16,654
BUT I GOT
MY SCHOLARSHIP.

1194
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,290
I CAN'T GO
THROUGH WITH THIS.

1195
00:54:19,357 --> 00:54:21,392
BUT WE WENT
HANDS IN ON THIS.

1196
00:54:21,459 --> 00:54:23,828
YOU'RE BREAKING
THE NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
CHEERLEADING ASSOCIATION'S

1197
00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:25,796
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
AND CONFORMITY.

1198
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:29,800
I'LL TURN IN MY POMPOMS
AFTER CHRISTMAS.

1199
00:54:29,867 --> 00:54:32,303
YOU KNOW,
YOU GUYS ARE INSANE
IF YOU DON'T THINK

1200
00:54:32,370 --> 00:54:35,806
THOSE CRIMINALS WOULD
GLADLY TURN YOU IN
FOR A PACK OF LUCKY'S.

1201
00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:38,108
OH, YEAH!
WELL, UNLIKE YOU,
THOSE CRIMINALS

1202
00:54:38,175 --> 00:54:40,345
TAKE AN OATH,
AND THEY STICK
WITH IT.

1203
00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:41,779
YOU DON'T MESS
WITH ANOTHER INMATE,

1204
00:54:41,846 --> 00:54:44,014
AND YOU NEVER MESS
WITH HER KID.

1205
00:54:44,982 --> 00:54:46,717
I'M SORRY, DIANE.

1206
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:52,457
[SIGHS]

1207
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,994
I COULD TAKE
LUCY'S PLACE.

1208
00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:00,331
YOU CAN BE
TERMINATOR BETTY.

1209
00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:02,533
[LAUGHTER]

1210
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,469
FIGHT THE POWER!

1211
00:55:07,505 --> 00:55:10,975
* MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS *

1212
00:55:14,579 --> 00:55:17,748
* MERRY CHRISTMAS *

1213
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:20,951
* MERRY, MERRY CHRISTMAS *

1214
00:55:24,288 --> 00:55:26,724
Both: 1, 2, 3!

1215
00:55:29,727 --> 00:55:30,828
OH, GOD!

1216
00:55:35,132 --> 00:55:36,467
OH, HONEY...

1217
00:55:36,534 --> 00:55:38,469
NEXT CHRISTMAS,

1218
00:55:38,536 --> 00:55:40,204
I'M PUTTING
A DIAMOND IN IT.

1219
00:55:40,270 --> 00:55:43,273
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.

1220
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,109
WELL,
SAY YOU LOVE ME.

1221
00:55:46,243 --> 00:55:47,478
I LOVE YOU.

1222
00:55:47,545 --> 00:55:49,046
I LOVE YOU, TOO.

1223
00:55:56,554 --> 00:55:58,188
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

1224
00:55:58,255 --> 00:55:59,790
OH, GOD, HERE'S MINE.

1225
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:01,726
IT'S LAME. IT'S NOT
ROMANTIC OR ANYTHING.

1226
00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:04,762
NO, NO, NO, SHH.
I'M GONNA LOVE IT.

1227
00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:08,332
AH! A GIFT CERTIFICATE...

1228
00:56:08,399 --> 00:56:11,536
FOR A NEW PAINT JOB
ON THE GTO.

1229
00:56:11,602 --> 00:56:13,370
YEAH, I WAS THINKING
THAT YOU'D WANNA

1230
00:56:13,438 --> 00:56:15,606
CHANGE THE COLOR
AFTER CHRISTMAS.

1231
00:56:16,941 --> 00:56:17,908
WOW.

1232
00:56:17,975 --> 00:56:18,843
YOU LIKE IT?

1233
00:56:18,909 --> 00:56:23,781
I SOLD THE CAR
TO BUY YOU THAT RING.

1234
00:56:25,650 --> 00:56:26,817
YOU'RE KIDDING?

1235
00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:29,019
NO! HEH HEH.

1236
00:56:29,086 --> 00:56:30,555
WE DON'T HAVE A CAR.

1237
00:56:30,621 --> 00:56:32,056
[BOTH LAUGH]

1238
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:33,791
NO.

1239
00:56:33,858 --> 00:56:36,326
OH! OH, SWEETIE.

1240
00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:37,795
SWEETIE...

1241
00:56:38,563 --> 00:56:40,631
[THUNDER CLAP]

1242
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,503
KANSAS,
LISTEN TO ME.

1243
00:56:45,570 --> 00:56:47,538
JACK SOLD
OUR GETAWAY CAR.

1244
00:56:47,605 --> 00:56:49,774
IT'S A GOSH DAMN
GIFT OF THE MAGI THING.

1245
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,142
OOPS, MOMMY'S SORRY,
SWEET PEAS.

1246
00:56:52,209 --> 00:56:54,278
SWEARING IS
THE SUREST WAY TO--

1247
00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:56,647
[SIGHS]
OH, SHOOT!

1248
00:56:56,714 --> 00:56:58,849
MOMMY NEEDS
A GETAWAY CAR.

1249
00:57:00,618 --> 00:57:01,952
[HORN HONKING]

1250
00:57:10,828 --> 00:57:11,796
JUMP IN!

1251
00:57:11,862 --> 00:57:12,630
WE CAN'T STOP!

1252
00:57:12,697 --> 00:57:14,532
Both:
THE BRAKES ARE BAD!

1253
00:57:15,633 --> 00:57:16,701
COME ON, KANSAS,
HURRY!

1254
00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:18,536
FERN, YOU'VE GOT
TO SLOW DOWN.

1255
00:57:18,603 --> 00:57:20,771
LORD, PLEASE DON'T LET US
RUN OVER KANSAS.

1256
00:57:20,838 --> 00:57:21,839
HELP!

1257
00:57:21,906 --> 00:57:23,440
GET IN! QUICK!

1258
00:57:23,508 --> 00:57:25,776
THE BRAKES
ARE BROKEN.

1259
00:57:27,478 --> 00:57:28,846
KANSAS!

1260
00:57:29,580 --> 00:57:30,948
OH, MY GOD!

1261
00:57:39,724 --> 00:57:42,860
[GIRLS SCREAMING]

1262
00:57:49,266 --> 00:57:52,837
Hannah: UH, ANYONE BRING
AN EXTRA PAIR OF PANTIES?

1263
00:58:19,530 --> 00:58:23,768
* SPITTING
IN A WISHING WELL *

1264
00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:25,936
* BLOWN TO HELL, CRASH *

1265
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,872
* ON THE LAST SPLASH... *

1266
00:58:37,582 --> 00:58:38,816
WHO ARE YOU?

1267
00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,551
THE FRIGGIN'
BIONIC WOMAN?

1268
00:58:40,618 --> 00:58:42,386
I JUST PULLED IT,
AND IT CAME OFF.

1269
00:58:42,452 --> 00:58:45,690
THIS IS GREAT.
NOW WE HAVE TO ENTER
THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR.

1270
00:58:45,756 --> 00:58:47,692
LOOK, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

1271
00:58:47,758 --> 00:58:49,794
HEY! GOD,
RULE NUMBER 1--

1272
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,129
YOU NEVER
TAKE OFF THE MASK,
YOU HEAR ME?

1273
00:58:52,196 --> 00:58:54,899
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,
YOU NEVER TAKE OFF
THE MASK.

1274
00:58:54,965 --> 00:58:57,234
[WEEPING]
I'M SORRY, KANSAS.

1275
00:58:57,301 --> 00:58:59,303
OH! GOD, NO.

1276
00:58:59,369 --> 00:59:01,505
RULE NUMBER 2--
NO NAMES.

1277
00:59:01,572 --> 00:59:03,073
NO NAMES,
YOU RETARD!

1278
00:59:03,140 --> 00:59:05,643
FOR PETE'S SAKE,
WHITE TRASH BETTY.

1279
00:59:05,710 --> 00:59:07,678
I DIDN'T REALIZE
THE RULES WENT INTO EFFECT

1280
00:59:07,745 --> 00:59:09,847
BEFORE WE ENTERED
THE SUPERMARKET.

1281
00:59:09,914 --> 00:59:11,582
WELL, USE YOUR HEAD,
STALKER BETTY.

1282
00:59:11,649 --> 00:59:12,683
NYAH!

1283
00:59:12,750 --> 00:59:14,919
BETTYS, STOP IT.

1284
00:59:14,985 --> 00:59:17,354
"THE BEST SQUAD IS ONE
THAT HOPES FOR THE BEST

1285
00:59:17,421 --> 00:59:19,657
AND PREPARES FOR THE WORST."
NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL

1286
00:59:19,724 --> 00:59:22,559
CHEERLEADING
ASSOCIATION LETTERHEAD.

1287
00:59:22,627 --> 00:59:24,829
NOW, LET'S GIVE A HANDS IN.

1288
00:59:27,632 --> 00:59:29,667
WE'RE READY, WE'RE PREPARED,

1289
00:59:29,734 --> 00:59:32,102
THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST BANK ROBBERY EVER,

1290
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:32,937
BECAUSE...

1291
00:59:33,003 --> 00:59:36,641
All: CHEERLEADERS KICK...

1292
00:59:40,711 --> 00:59:42,179
[ALL SCREAM]

1293
00:59:42,246 --> 00:59:43,480
SHH! IT'S ME.

1294
00:59:43,547 --> 00:59:44,849
Diane: LUCY?

1295
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:46,150
Kansas: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

1296
00:59:46,216 --> 00:59:48,986
I WANT TO HELP.
I'M A PART OF THIS SQUAD.

1297
00:59:49,053 --> 00:59:50,187
OH, NO.

1298
00:59:50,254 --> 00:59:52,857
YOU HAVE COMMITTED
THE ULTIMATE SIN.

1299
00:59:52,923 --> 00:59:56,260
YOU LEFT YOUR SQUAD
TO BE WITH A GUY.

1300
00:59:56,326 --> 00:59:58,528
AND THAT GUY IS
THE DEVIL HIMSELF,

1301
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:03,300
BECAUSE ONLY THE DEVIL
WOULD TURN YOU AGAINST
YOUR SISTERS.

1302
01:00:03,367 --> 01:00:05,035
[ALL LAUGH]

1303
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,804
LET'S GO.

1304
01:00:37,101 --> 01:00:38,068
WHAT'S THIS?

1305
01:00:52,883 --> 01:00:54,819
[CUSTOMERS SHRIEK]

1306
01:00:54,885 --> 01:00:57,654
GET ON THE GROUND NOW!

1307
01:01:00,691 --> 01:01:02,092
WE GOT TAPE.
DON'T WORRY.

1308
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,694
I SAID DOWN!

1309
01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:12,937
Woman: OK, UH. HELLO?

1310
01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:15,439
YEAH. EXCUSE ME.
YEAH, HI.

1311
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:18,809
UMM, ARE YOU ROBBING
THE SUPERMARKET
OR THE BANK BRANCH?

1312
01:01:18,876 --> 01:01:20,010
THE BANK.

1313
01:01:20,077 --> 01:01:22,612
OK, SO...DO YOU WANT
EVERYBODY DOWN

1314
01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:25,415
OR JUST THE PEOPLE
AT THE BANK?

1315
01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:27,752
ALL OF YOU.
BANK BRANCH.

1316
01:01:30,620 --> 01:01:32,256
ALL OF YOU.
BANK BRANCH.

1317
01:01:34,158 --> 01:01:36,526
WILL YOU SHUT UP?
I'LL HANDLE THIS.

1318
01:01:36,593 --> 01:01:38,095
BANK BRANCH ONLY!

1319
01:01:38,162 --> 01:01:40,998
EVERYBODY ELSE,
JUST GO ON ABOUT
YOUR BUSINESS.

1320
01:01:46,603 --> 01:01:48,205
SHIT, THIS
AIN'T WORKING.

1321
01:01:48,272 --> 01:01:49,974
EVERYBODY DOWN!

1322
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:23,774
THAT'S AN ILLEGAL DISMOUNT.

1323
01:02:34,018 --> 01:02:35,853
Thinking:
OH, MY GOD.

1324
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:38,122
AN "A" SQUAD
POMPOM STRING.

1325
01:02:38,188 --> 01:02:39,089
OW!

1326
01:02:39,156 --> 01:02:40,724
KEEP YOUR EYES
ON THE GROUND.

1327
01:02:40,791 --> 01:02:41,758
THIS IS GREAT.

1328
01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:43,093
HOW ARE WE DOING?

1329
01:02:45,229 --> 01:02:47,031
QUICK. BIG BILLS,
BIG BILLS.

1330
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:50,767
Man: THIS HERE IS BULL DUNG!
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS.

1331
01:02:51,635 --> 01:02:53,237
I'LL FIND YOU.
GO ON.

1332
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:58,008
I AIN'T GONNA LET
SOME PIECE OF DIRT
BETTY DOLL

1333
01:02:58,075 --> 01:03:00,244
TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

1334
01:03:00,310 --> 01:03:02,579
NO, SIRREE BOB.

1335
01:03:02,646 --> 01:03:04,281
[GASPS]

1336
01:03:04,348 --> 01:03:06,283
FREEZE, SCUMBAG!

1337
01:03:06,350 --> 01:03:09,119
DON'T YOU NEVER USE THE
LORD'S SON'S NAME IN VAIN

1338
01:03:09,186 --> 01:03:11,388
AROUND THESE PARTS
IN THE U.S.A.

1339
01:03:11,455 --> 01:03:12,957
[YELLS]

1340
01:03:15,525 --> 01:03:17,394
WHAT THE HECK?

1341
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:24,034
UH, I FORGOT
TO TELL YOU.

1342
01:03:24,101 --> 01:03:25,502
SOMETIMES WHEN
THE REBELS

1343
01:03:25,569 --> 01:03:26,971
TAKE THE GUN
OFF A CORPSE,

1344
01:03:27,037 --> 01:03:30,274
SOME LIVE ROUNDS
GET LEFT IN
THE CLIP.

1345
01:03:30,340 --> 01:03:32,042
GOOD TO KNOW.

1346
01:03:33,577 --> 01:03:35,212
[SIGHS]

1347
01:03:37,581 --> 01:03:39,516
CHEESE ON A CRACKER.

1348
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:43,287
ALRIGHT,
YOU GUYS, LET'S GO.

1349
01:03:51,862 --> 01:03:53,197
[GRUNTS]

1350
01:03:55,799 --> 01:03:57,467
[VOMITING]

1351
01:04:05,642 --> 01:04:07,811
[SIREN WAILING]

1352
01:04:07,878 --> 01:04:09,679
I'M HERE LIVE AT
THE SCENE OF TODAY'S

1353
01:04:09,746 --> 01:04:12,349
HIGHLY UNUSUAL
BANK ROBBERY, SPEAKING
WITH AN EYEWITNESS.

1354
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,384
CAN YOU TELL US
WHAT HAPPENED HERE TODAY?

1355
01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:16,053
YOU'RE TALKING
TO THE RIGHT PERSON,

1356
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:17,321
I AM WALKING EVIDENCE.

1357
01:04:17,387 --> 01:04:19,689
ONE OF THEM STEPPED
RIGHT ON MY [BEEP].

1358
01:04:19,756 --> 01:04:21,926
EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU
GET A SHOT OF ME?

1359
01:04:21,992 --> 01:04:23,460
THIS IS IMPORTANT, BUDDY.

1360
01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:26,030
CAN YOU DUST
MY [BEEP] FOR PRINTS?
IT'S IMPORTANT.

1361
01:04:26,096 --> 01:04:29,133
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
STANDING THERE, YOU IDIOT!

1362
01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:30,434
WAIT, HOLD ON, I FORGOT.

1363
01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:34,238
I HAVE THIS. THIS IS
REALLY IMPORTANT...

1364
01:04:34,304 --> 01:04:36,140
THAT'S NICE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

1365
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:38,208
AS YOU CAN SEE,
THIS CRIME HERE TODAY

1366
01:04:38,275 --> 01:04:40,877
IS AFFECTING PEOPLE
VERY SERIOUSLY.

1367
01:04:40,945 --> 01:04:42,312
IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD,
TODAY,

1368
01:04:42,379 --> 01:04:45,415
5 PREGNANT BETTY
DOLLS ROBBED THE BANK.

1369
01:04:46,917 --> 01:04:49,653
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

1370
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:51,555
WE'RE LIKE CELEBRITIES.

1371
01:04:51,621 --> 01:04:53,157
BETTER ENJOY IT NOW.

1372
01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,525
BECAUSE TOMORROW SOME LITTLE
KID FALLS DOWN A WELL,

1373
01:04:55,592 --> 01:04:58,162
AND WE'RE NOTHING
BUT A DISTANT MEMORY.

1374
01:05:01,265 --> 01:05:03,333
DISGUISES
INCINERATED.

1375
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,535
[ALL CHEER]

1376
01:05:05,602 --> 01:05:07,404
OH, BAD NEWS, DI.

1377
01:05:07,471 --> 01:05:10,607
THERE WAS ONE THING
WE JUST COULDN'T FIT

1378
01:05:10,674 --> 01:05:11,942
IN THE FURNACE.

1379
01:05:15,812 --> 01:05:17,747
OH, MY GOD.

1380
01:05:17,814 --> 01:05:19,716
OH, YOU GUYS!

1381
01:05:19,783 --> 01:05:22,319
THANK YOU. OH!

1382
01:05:23,820 --> 01:05:25,956
CAN YOU BELIEVE
WE DID IT?

1383
01:05:26,023 --> 01:05:29,659
I MEAN...
WE DID IT.

1384
01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:31,628
WE REALLY
DID IT.

1385
01:05:31,695 --> 01:05:33,630
[SCREAMING]

1386
01:05:38,302 --> 01:05:40,304
Lisa: I GUESS NO ONE
COULD HAVE PREDICTED

1387
01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:42,572
THE STORM
THAT WAS ABOUT TO HIT.

1388
01:05:42,639 --> 01:05:45,109
THE ONLY THING
PEOPLE CARED ABOUT,
THOUGHT ABOUT,

1389
01:05:45,175 --> 01:05:47,111
OR TALKED ABOUT
WAS THE ROBBERY.

1390
01:05:47,177 --> 01:05:50,280
JUDGING BY THE WAY THE ROBBERS
PRACTICALLY FLEW UP

1391
01:05:50,347 --> 01:05:52,449
TO SPRAY PAINT
THE SECURITY CAMERAS,

1392
01:05:52,516 --> 01:05:55,652
I THINK IT WAS
AN ASIAN GANG.

1393
01:05:55,719 --> 01:05:57,454
YEAH. BECAUSE AS A PEOPLE,

1394
01:05:57,521 --> 01:06:01,558
THEY TEND TO BE QUITE TINY
AND VERY ACROBATIC.

1395
01:06:04,394 --> 01:06:05,962
Lisa: THAT'S ALL IT TOOK.

1396
01:06:06,030 --> 01:06:08,332
NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
DIM SUM CHARLIE'S

1397
01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:10,934
BEING HAULED IN
FOR QUESTIONING.

1398
01:06:11,001 --> 01:06:15,539
FROM THERE, THE TOWN JUST
TURNED INTO A FREAK SHOW.

1399
01:06:15,605 --> 01:06:16,573
AAH!

1400
01:06:17,774 --> 01:06:18,942
GET HER!

1401
01:06:19,009 --> 01:06:20,644
THAT'S HER! THAT'S HER!

1402
01:06:20,710 --> 01:06:22,346
I'LL NEVER FORGET
THAT FACE!

1403
01:06:22,412 --> 01:06:24,814
Lisa: THIS THING SPREAD
FASTER THAN A CANKER SORE

1404
01:06:24,881 --> 01:06:26,250
ON THE GIRLS SWIM TEAM.

1405
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:27,917
SOMEONE IN LINCOLN WOULD
SAY SOMETHING LIKE...

1406
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,754
THEY WERE DRESSED
LIKE A BUNCH OF
FREAKIN' BETTY DOLLS,

1407
01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:32,156
FOR [BEEP] SAKE.

1408
01:06:32,222 --> 01:06:34,558
THEY HAD THESE
[BEEP] LITTLE VOICES,

1409
01:06:34,624 --> 01:06:37,161
AND ONLY A BUNCH OF
[BEEP] DAMN [BEEP]

1410
01:06:37,227 --> 01:06:39,329
WOULD SHOOT UP
A UNION CAP.

1411
01:06:39,396 --> 01:06:42,099
Lisa: ALL OF A SUDDEN,
IT'S ON JERRY SPRINGER.

1412
01:06:42,166 --> 01:06:44,168
THIS THING WAS
DEFINITELY HUGE.

1413
01:06:44,234 --> 01:06:47,937
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
TODAY, WE'RE GONNA MEET
A NUMBER OF TRANSVESTITES

1414
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:49,773
WHO DON'T JUST
DRESS UP AS WOMEN.

1415
01:06:49,839 --> 01:06:52,842
THEY LIKE TO DRESS UP
AS PREGNANT WOMEN.

1416
01:06:52,909 --> 01:06:54,711
[CROWD BOOING]

1417
01:06:56,146 --> 01:06:57,847
Announcer:
ERIC KARROS...

1418
01:06:57,914 --> 01:07:00,617
Lisa: THE COUNTRY HAD COME
DOWN WITH BETTY DOLL FEVER.

1419
01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,886
Announcer: LEFT DRIVE
OVER THE LEFT FIELD WALL,

1420
01:07:02,952 --> 01:07:04,754
INTO A WAITING PACK
OF BETTYS.

1421
01:07:07,157 --> 01:07:08,558
Lisa: AND THEN
IT FINALLY HAPPENED--

1422
01:07:08,625 --> 01:07:10,427
THE MOMENT I HAD
BEEN WAITING FOR.

1423
01:07:10,494 --> 01:07:11,995
THE LITTLE
PIPSQUEAKS IN BLUE

1424
01:07:12,062 --> 01:07:14,698
FINALLY FOLLOWED UP
ON MY EVIDENCE.

1425
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:18,235
HEH.

1426
01:07:20,570 --> 01:07:22,539
I'M KURT LODER
WITH AN MTV NEWS BRIEF.

1427
01:07:22,606 --> 01:07:24,574
AUTHORITIES NOW BELIEVE
A GROUP OF TEENAGE GIRLS

1428
01:07:24,641 --> 01:07:26,743
ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR
THE BETTY DOLL BANK ROBBERY.

1429
01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:28,812
STAY TUNED FOR MY INTERVIEW
WITH ALANIS MORISSETTE

1430
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:32,416
ON THE NEGATIVE INFLUENCE
OF THE BETTY DOLL
ON YOUNG GIRLS.

1431
01:07:37,521 --> 01:07:38,355
HELLO?

1432
01:07:38,422 --> 01:07:40,490
IT WAS LUCY.
LUCY WENT TO THE COPS.

1433
01:07:40,557 --> 01:07:42,626
REMEMBER, KANSAS.
EVERY TIME YOU POINT
A FINGER,

1434
01:07:42,692 --> 01:07:44,694
YOU HAVE 3 MORE
POINTING BACK AT YOU.

1435
01:07:44,761 --> 01:07:48,098
SHE'S BEEN THE WEAK TIT
ON THIS MAMA CAT
SINCE THE BEGINNING.

1436
01:07:48,165 --> 01:07:49,333
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
THAT YOU?

1437
01:07:49,399 --> 01:07:50,867
HOLD ON.
CALL ME LATER.

1438
01:07:50,934 --> 01:07:52,702
I GOTTA GET SOME
SMOKES FOR GRANDMA.

1439
01:07:52,769 --> 01:07:54,070
DON'T USE BIG BILLS.

1440
01:07:54,138 --> 01:07:56,706
FOR A PACK OF CIGS?
I'LL USE HER FOOD STAMPS.

1441
01:07:57,741 --> 01:07:59,109
HELLO?
WE'RE DEAD.

1442
01:07:59,176 --> 01:08:00,377
THEY SHOWED
THIS PRISON MOVIE

1443
01:08:00,444 --> 01:08:02,312
TO MY YOUTH GROUP
ON SUNDAY.

1444
01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:04,381
HANNAH--
IT WASN'T LIKE
THE PRISON WE SAW.

1445
01:08:04,448 --> 01:08:06,116
THE WOMEN HAD
TO SHAVE THEIR HEADS

1446
01:08:06,183 --> 01:08:09,253
BECAUSE THEY GOT LICE
FROM THE FILTHY LIVES
THEY LIVED.

1447
01:08:09,319 --> 01:08:12,522
OH, NO. I'M GONNA BE
SOMEONE'S BALD BITCH!

1448
01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:14,791
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
OOPS. HOLD ON A SECOND.

1449
01:08:14,858 --> 01:08:16,726
HELLO?
DI? IT'S LUCE.

1450
01:08:16,793 --> 01:08:19,696
KANSAS JUST CALLED
AND SAID SHE'S GONNA
FREAK ME UP.

1451
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:22,532
I HEARD
COUGHING AND A THUD,
AND KANSAS HAD TO GO.

1452
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,934
I THINK HER GRANDMA
HAD ANOTHER HEART ATTACK.

1453
01:08:25,001 --> 01:08:26,636
WHY DOES SHE WANNA
FREAK ME UP?

1454
01:08:26,703 --> 01:08:28,705
SHE THINKS YOU WENT
TO THE POLICE.

1455
01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:30,039
WHAT? THAT'S INSANE.

1456
01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:31,741
WHY WOULD I GO
TO THE POLICE?

1457
01:08:31,808 --> 01:08:33,577
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
RELAX. GOTTA GET THAT.

1458
01:08:33,643 --> 01:08:36,246
I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW. HELLO?

1459
01:08:36,313 --> 01:08:38,282
MY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER
SAYS IN PRISON,

1460
01:08:38,348 --> 01:08:40,150
WOMEN SHOVE
BROOMSTICKS UP YOUR--

1461
01:08:40,217 --> 01:08:42,452
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
HOLD ON.

1462
01:08:42,519 --> 01:08:43,253
YEAH?

1463
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:44,754
[SPEAKING CHINESE]

1464
01:08:51,961 --> 01:08:53,730
HELLO?

1465
01:08:55,098 --> 01:08:56,300
NO. THIS IS DIANE.

1466
01:08:56,366 --> 01:08:58,067
I THINK YOU HAVE
THE WRONG NUMBER.

1467
01:08:58,134 --> 01:09:01,238
[CALL WAITING BEEPS]
OOPS. THAT'S ME.
GOTTA GO.

1468
01:09:01,305 --> 01:09:04,040
WRONG NUMBER? NO!

1469
01:09:04,107 --> 01:09:05,775
HELLO?
DI?

1470
01:09:05,842 --> 01:09:09,112
I CALLED TO SAY
CONAN TALKED ABOUT US
AGAIN LAST NIGHT.

1471
01:09:09,179 --> 01:09:10,647
THANKS, CLEO.
SEE YOU TOMORROW.

1472
01:09:13,950 --> 01:09:15,652
MORNING, SUNSHINE.

1473
01:09:15,719 --> 01:09:18,855
REMEMBER, EXCEPT FOR
THE MORNING SICKNESS,

1474
01:09:18,922 --> 01:09:20,424
THE BLINDING BACK PAIN,

1475
01:09:20,490 --> 01:09:22,292
AND THE EMBARRASSINGLY
UNPREDICTABLE GAS,

1476
01:09:22,359 --> 01:09:26,196
THESE ARE THE BEST DAYS
OF YOUR LIFE, SO FAR.

1477
01:09:27,997 --> 01:09:30,734
HEY, HEY, HEY.
NOT SO FAST.

1478
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:33,002
FOLLOWING YOUR DREAM
ISN'T A CRIME.

1479
01:09:33,069 --> 01:09:34,904
NOBODY SUSPECTS YOU.

1480
01:09:34,971 --> 01:09:36,940
NOBODY EVEN HAS A CLUE.

1481
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,775
HMM.

1482
01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:41,945
* HEY, PISTOLERO *

1483
01:10:14,244 --> 01:10:16,346
HEY, GUYS.

1484
01:10:16,413 --> 01:10:18,715
SOMEONE NOT TAKE
A SHOWER TODAY?

1485
01:10:18,782 --> 01:10:19,949
Kansas: HEY, LISA,

1486
01:10:20,016 --> 01:10:22,452
DID YOU RUN INTO
CARMEN ELECTRA LAST SUMMER?

1487
01:10:22,519 --> 01:10:23,853
NO.

1488
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:28,124
BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
GOT SOME OF HER TITS ON YOU.

1489
01:10:28,191 --> 01:10:31,728
THIS JUST CAME FROM
THE NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
CHEERLEADING ASSOCIATION.

1490
01:10:31,795 --> 01:10:34,163
YOU MIGHT WANNA LOOK IT OVER
BEFORE YOU TRY MORE

1491
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:36,165
CRADLE DISMOUNTS FROM
DOUBLE-BASED PARTNER STUNTS

1492
01:10:36,232 --> 01:10:40,870
THAT ARE OVER SHOULDER STAND
LEVEL, WITHOUT USING 3 CATCHERS.

1493
01:10:40,937 --> 01:10:45,709
OH...OR BEFORE YOU THINK ABOUT
ROBBING ANOTHER BANK.

1494
01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:49,045
WHAT DID SHE SAY?
HOW DOES SHE KNOW?

1495
01:10:49,112 --> 01:10:50,947
MOVE IT, PEOPLE.

1496
01:10:51,014 --> 01:10:54,284
FBI. FBI. FREEZE!

1497
01:10:58,655 --> 01:11:00,490
I'M SORRY TO
BOTHER YOU, MA'AM,

1498
01:11:00,557 --> 01:11:03,059
BUT IS THIS
GONNA TAKE LONG?
IT'S GAME NIGHT.

1499
01:11:03,126 --> 01:11:04,694
Man: FACE FRONT.

1500
01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:08,264
ARE YOU SURE
THEY CAN'T SEE US?

1501
01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:09,933
ONE-WAY MIRROR,
MA'AM.

1502
01:11:09,999 --> 01:11:13,269
Man: PICTURE IN 3, 2, 1.

1503
01:11:13,337 --> 01:11:14,704
[GASPING]

1504
01:11:17,874 --> 01:11:20,677
EXCUSE ME, ON LAW and ORDER,
THEY GET TO MAKE ONE CALL.

1505
01:11:20,744 --> 01:11:23,513
I NEED TO CALL
THE FATHER OF MY BABIES.

1506
01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,488
IT'S A FUNGUS.
LEAVE IT ALONE.

1507
01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:32,489
[PHONE RINGING]

1508
01:11:32,556 --> 01:11:34,391
NOTHING I CAN DO. HELLO?

1509
01:11:34,458 --> 01:11:37,827
LISA, IT'S DIANE.
WE NEED TO TALK.

1510
01:11:39,696 --> 01:11:42,098
Lisa: AND THAT'S WHY
I CAME FORWARD.

1511
01:11:42,165 --> 01:11:43,900
EVEN THE KIDS
ON THE SHORT BUS

1512
01:11:43,967 --> 01:11:47,937
CAN SEE THAT ALL
THE EVIDENCE POINTS TO
DIANE AND THE "A" SQUAD.

1513
01:11:48,004 --> 01:11:49,706
OH, IT SURE DOES.

1514
01:11:49,773 --> 01:11:52,075
YOUR TESTIMONY WILL
PROVE INVALUABLE--

1515
01:11:52,141 --> 01:11:54,778
UNFORTUNATELY,
IT WASN'T THEM.

1516
01:11:54,844 --> 01:11:57,681
HEH. THEY WERE ALL WAITING
IN MY SUBURBAN THAT DAY

1517
01:11:57,747 --> 01:12:02,085
WHILE I RAN INTO
THE SUPERMARKET
FOR SOME CASH.

1518
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:05,389
WE WERE ON OUR WAY
TO PRACTICE.

1519
01:12:05,455 --> 01:12:08,625
WELL, BETTER GET GOING.

1520
01:12:08,692 --> 01:12:12,362
NOBODY EVER GOT AHEAD
BY SITTING ON THEIR BEHIND.

1521
01:12:19,035 --> 01:12:20,269
[CAR HONKING]

1522
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,439
HEY! OVER HERE!

1523
01:12:22,506 --> 01:12:24,040
IS THAT LISA?

1524
01:12:24,107 --> 01:12:26,576
WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?

1525
01:12:27,511 --> 01:12:29,746
COME ON.

1526
01:12:33,049 --> 01:12:35,284
THEY LET YOU GUYS
KEEP YOUR MUG SHOTS?

1527
01:12:35,351 --> 01:12:38,955
I DON'T GET IT.
WHY DID YOU TELL THE COPS
WE WERE WITH YOU?

1528
01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:42,058
LOOK, GUYS, A FAILURE TO PLAN
IS A PLAN FOR FAILURE.

1529
01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:43,793
WE NEEDED AN ALIBI.

1530
01:12:43,860 --> 01:12:46,496
I'M NOT GONNA BE
DOING BACK HANDSPRINGS
ANYTIME SOON.

1531
01:12:46,563 --> 01:12:48,798
WHAT'S IN IT
FOR HER?

1532
01:12:48,865 --> 01:12:51,501
WELL, THE "A" SQUAD
IS GOING TO NEED

1533
01:12:51,568 --> 01:12:53,202
A NEW CAPTAIN SOON.

1534
01:12:53,269 --> 01:12:54,571
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

1535
01:12:54,638 --> 01:12:58,374
LISA REALLY DOES
KNOW ALL THE RULES.

1536
01:13:01,645 --> 01:13:03,647
LOOK! IF IT WASN'T
FOR MY ALIBI,

1537
01:13:03,713 --> 01:13:06,816
YOU'D ALL BE DOING COLLEGE
BY CORRESPONDENCE.

1538
01:13:08,184 --> 01:13:10,119
[SCREAMING]

1539
01:13:10,186 --> 01:13:12,121
GET AWAY FROM ME!

1540
01:13:13,156 --> 01:13:14,524
[FARTING]

1541
01:13:14,591 --> 01:13:17,160
EWWW.
GROSS. DIANE!

1542
01:13:18,495 --> 01:13:20,096
Diane: SORRY,
IT JUST SLIPPED OUT.

1543
01:13:20,163 --> 01:13:21,498
OK!

1544
01:13:21,565 --> 01:13:23,733
Lisa: FUNNY HOW THINGS
WORK OUT IN THE END.

1545
01:13:23,800 --> 01:13:25,535
DIANE TURNED IN HER POMPOMS,

1546
01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:28,004
AND I'M THE NEW
"A" SQUAD CAPTAIN.

1547
01:13:28,071 --> 01:13:30,607
AFTER ALL,
NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
CHEERLEADING ASSOCIATION

1548
01:13:30,674 --> 01:13:34,744
RULE NUMBER ONE--
ALWAYS STAND BEHIND
YOUR FELLOW CHEERLEADERS,

1549
01:13:34,811 --> 01:13:37,080
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE
7 MONTHS PREGNANT,

1550
01:13:37,146 --> 01:13:40,416
LOCKED IN A HOLDING TANK,
AND LOOKING AT 15 TO LIFE.

1551
01:13:40,484 --> 01:13:43,119
ACTUALLY, I MADE
THAT LAST LITTLE BIT UP,

1552
01:13:43,186 --> 01:13:45,622
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

1553
01:13:53,697 --> 01:13:58,234
* WELL, SHE WAS
AN AMERICAN GIRL *

1554
01:13:58,301 --> 01:14:01,938
* RAISED ON PROMISES *

1555
01:14:02,005 --> 01:14:04,708
* SHE COULDN'T HELP THINKIN'
THAT THERE *

1556
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:09,546
* WAS A LITTLE MORE TO LIFE
SOMEWHERE ELSE *

1557
01:14:09,613 --> 01:14:13,750
* AFTER ALL,
IT WAS A GREAT BIG WORLD *

1558
01:14:13,817 --> 01:14:17,521
* WITH LOTS OF PLACES
TO RUN TO *

1559
01:14:17,587 --> 01:14:20,389
* AND IF SHE HAD TO DIE *

1560
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:26,730
* TRYIN' SHE HAD ONE LITTLE
PROMISE SHE WAS GONNA KEEP *

1561
01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,667
* OH, YEAH, ALRIGHT *

1562
01:14:30,734 --> 01:14:32,636
* TAKE IT EASY, BABY *

1563
01:14:32,702 --> 01:14:35,271
* MAKE IT LAST ALL NIGHT *

1564
01:14:35,338 --> 01:14:39,709
* SHE WAS AN AMERICAN GIRL *

1565
01:14:42,411 --> 01:14:46,182
* WELL, IT WAS KIND OF COLD
THAT NIGHT *

1566
01:14:46,249 --> 01:14:49,919
* SHE STOOD ALONE
ON HER BALCONY *

1567
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:53,857
* YEAH, SHE COULD
HEAR THE CARS ROLL BY *

1568
01:14:53,923 --> 01:14:58,895
* OUT ON 441, LIKE WAVES
CRASHIN' ON THE BEACH *

1569
01:14:58,962 --> 01:15:02,566
* AND FOR ONE DESPERATE
MOMENT THERE *

1570
01:15:02,632 --> 01:15:06,603
* HE CREPT BACK
IN HER MEMORY *

1571
01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,572
* GOD, IT'S SO PAINFUL *

1572
01:15:08,638 --> 01:15:11,474
* WHEN SOMETHING
THAT'S SO CLOSE *

1573
01:15:11,541 --> 01:15:15,712
* IS STILL SO FAR
OUT OF REACH *

1574
01:15:15,779 --> 01:15:19,749
* OH, YEAH, ALRIGHT *

1575
01:15:19,816 --> 01:15:21,718
* TAKE IT EASY, BABY *

1576
01:15:21,785 --> 01:15:24,053
* MAKE IT LAST ALL NIGHT *

1577
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:28,858
* SHE WAS AN AMERICAN GIRL *

1578
01:15:33,830 --> 01:15:37,100
* AN AMERICAN GIRL *

1579
01:15:41,938 --> 01:15:45,742
* AN AMERICAN GIRL *

1580
01:16:02,525 --> 01:16:04,160
* LET'S GO *

1581
01:16:18,474 --> 01:16:20,910
* GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE *

1582
01:16:20,977 --> 01:16:25,649
* WHAT YOU WANNA DO TODAY? *

1583
01:16:25,715 --> 01:16:28,217
* I'M SO TIRED OF WORKING *

1584
01:16:28,284 --> 01:16:32,822
* I'VE GOT TOO MANY BILLS
TO PAY, THAT'S OK *

1585
01:16:32,889 --> 01:16:36,860
* 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
A REAL STRAIGHT SHOT *

1586
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:41,731
* YOU'VE GOT
A PRETTY GOOD CAR *

1587
01:16:41,798 --> 01:16:44,033
* SO PICK A POINT
ON THE MAP *

1588
01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:46,169
* DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ONE *

1589
01:16:46,235 --> 01:16:50,173
* WE'LL BE RICH
WHEN THE JOB GETS DONE *

1590
01:16:50,239 --> 01:16:53,810
* YOU HOLD THE BAG,
AND I'LL HOLD THE GUN *

1591
01:16:53,877 --> 01:16:56,379
* FILL UP THE TANK *

1592
01:16:56,445 --> 01:16:58,882
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1593
01:17:00,984 --> 01:17:03,853
* I'VE GOT HOLES IN MY SHOES *

1594
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:07,390
* I'VE GOT HOLES
IN MY UNDERWEAR *

1595
01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:11,394
* TAKE A LOOK IN MY WALLET *

1596
01:17:11,460 --> 01:17:16,065
* THERE USED TO BE SOME
MONEY THERE, I DON'T CARE *

1597
01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:20,036
* 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
A REAL STRAIGHT SHOT *

1598
01:17:20,103 --> 01:17:25,141
* YOU'VE GOT
A PRETTY GOOD CAR *

1599
01:17:25,208 --> 01:17:27,610
* SO PICK A POINT
ON THE MAP *

1600
01:17:27,677 --> 01:17:29,779
* DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ONE *

1601
01:17:29,846 --> 01:17:33,382
* WE'LL BE RICH
WHEN THE JOB GETS DONE *

1602
01:17:33,449 --> 01:17:37,053
* YOU HOLD THE BAG,
AND I'LL HOLD THE GUN *

1603
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:39,689
* FILL UP THE TANK *

1604
01:17:39,756 --> 01:17:42,158
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1605
01:17:42,225 --> 01:17:45,394
* WE CAN HAVE
EVERYTHING WE WANT *

1606
01:17:45,461 --> 01:17:49,465
* OOOOH
LA, LA, LA, LA *

1607
01:17:49,532 --> 01:17:52,068
* I CAN BUY A NEW GUITAR *

1608
01:17:52,135 --> 01:17:54,704
* YOU CAN PAY
YOUR CREDIT CARDS *

1609
01:17:54,771 --> 01:17:57,741
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1610
01:18:10,586 --> 01:18:14,758
* 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
A REAL STRAIGHT SHOT *

1611
01:18:14,824 --> 01:18:19,695
* YOU'VE GOT
A PRETTY GOOD CAR *

1612
01:18:19,763 --> 01:18:21,965
* SO PICK A POINT
ON THE MAP *

1613
01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:24,801
* DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ONE *

1614
01:18:24,868 --> 01:18:28,004
* WE'LL BE RICH
WHEN THE JOB GETS DONE *

1615
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:31,741
* YOU HOLD THE BAG,
AND I'LL HOLD THE GUN *

1616
01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:34,043
* FILL UP THE TANK *

1617
01:18:34,110 --> 01:18:36,079
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1618
01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:38,081
* POINT ON THE MAP,
DOESN'T MATTER WHICH ONE *

1619
01:18:38,147 --> 01:18:39,715
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1620
01:18:39,783 --> 01:18:41,785
* WE'LL BE RICH
WHEN THE JOB GETS DONE *

1621
01:18:41,851 --> 01:18:43,352
* LET'S ROB A BANK *

1622
01:18:43,419 --> 01:18:46,823
* YOU HOLD THE BAG,
AND I'LL HOLD THE GUN *

1623
01:18:46,890 --> 01:18:49,458
* FILL UP THE TANK *

1624
01:18:49,525 --> 01:18:54,030
* LET'S ROB A BANK *